Some may call it a phenomenon,others a fad…  It’s natural hair.  And within the last few years, there has been an increase in African-American women going back to their roots – literally.

But what is the attraction to becoming natural really?

I believe that it actually comes down to a female becoming more comfortable in their own skin.  No matter the age, race or creed, it is a powerful statement to show the world that you love you for what you were born with.  Being able to accept, embrace and enjoy the beauty of you.  Lets face it, many women today of different ethnicities wear their hair “naturally” on a daily basis, but nothing is mentioned and it’s never a big deal.  But when a lady of african decent does the same, it can perhaps make her the center of attention, start a conversation, or become a fiery debate.

Why is it that when african-american women decide not to use chemicals on their hair, it becomes such a big deal? While other races have lived centuries without it ever becoming an issue?

Black hair is so unique and different, that it has no choice but to be noticed.  People who have those tight, thick coils and tons of volume tend to stand out in a crowd.  But more importantly when it comes to western culture, there is a sense of having to deal with the accepted idea of what beautiful hair is.  In speaking to many different people, I usually hear that the idea of “good” hair is of a straighter grade or texture, something easier to comb, flowing and long in length, which you will usually see on a european.

And because of that, within the last 20 years or so we have seen an influx of hair supply stores, that sell weaves on end, relaxers and the like – all products that help people of color get this particular view of beauty that society has told us is the acceptable one.

As for a reason to why women are embracing this “new” look, for some women there comes a time when they decide that they just really don’t care what others think of them anymore.  Perhaps they want to live a healthier lifestyle.  Maybe the strain of applying chemicals on their scalp has taken a toll on their locks.  Or, maybe they just want a change.  Whatever the reason, it is usually a personal one when you ask someone why they have decided to go au naturale.

Since returning as a natural myself, I have heard many stereotypes that follow along with it.  Becoming natural doesn’t mean you are lazy with your hair.  In fact, I have found out that it takes about the same, if not more work than when I kept my hair straightened.  Not all black men like the look of natural hair, but then there many of them also are in love with it.. So don’t say you can’t find or be accepted by any man without straight hair.  Your hair won’t hold you back from getting your respect, your career, or keep you from being taken seriously – unless of course you let it.  People have even compared me to my ancestors (for example, saying I look like a “runaway slave”) for changing my look.  But I don’t see my history as anything to be ashamed of… we have come a very long way.  Needless to say I would rather be a runaway then stay locked in bondage mentally or physically (lol).  The point is, you must have a lot of confidence to rock the natural look.  There are people who judge others by how they  appear and who they are, and you will be basically showing the world exactly what your made of… so if you can’t be proud of it, learn to love it, or don’t think you can handle it, you will definitely struggle with having success with it.

Just a few questions to ask yourself:  How do you see your hair?  As just a fashion statement, or a reflection of you as a person?  How important is it to stay within the standards of a certain idea of beauty?  Are you a natural?  Why or why not??

Regardless of your choice of hairstyles, lets define ourselves and not let our hair do it for us! We are all beautiful in our own very unique ways.  Pretty hair does not make a pretty person inside and out.  But, how you carry yourself does.  Good luck if you are on your own natural hair journeys and let me know what you think  of this piece by commenting below

[photo source: Naturalee Yours, check out her FaceBook Page and Support ;-), Read more from Miss Tenille at NoirGossip.Com]

Congrats to Haitian movie star Jimmy Jean Louis ( of Heroes/Sinking Sands/Phat Girls) as he and his wife celebrate the birth of their third child, a babygirl this morning. His better half - Evelyn, popped the baby out this morning at Cedars Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles.

The newest bundle of joy wieghed a whopping 10 pounds, 8 ounces!! Can we say that this woman was ALL BABY?!? Mom and daughter are doing just fine.

The couple already have two precious cuties together, Jasmin and Thevi… Cute fam, don’t ya’ll think?!

[Source]

I believe all women should carry herself with class, beauty, and some level of character whenever they walk out of the house.  This being said, I myself am a victim of being too “natural” in the past.  I never have been known to wear makeup much at all in my life, yet now I am getting more into certain shades of lipgloss and lipsticks besides just nude.  I’ve even taken offense to someone telling me I should “act more my age” and get into cosmetics.  But, I can say that nowadays I am making some small changes, taking some chances, and stepping outside of the box when it comes to cosmetic beauty, and so far so good.

But besides cosmetics, there are a few common sense things that I can’t do without.  I believe all women should do these suggestions on hygiene and perception… not just me.  The list is pretty self explainatory.  Here are my ideas, love em or hate em, I’m going to share them now.  I’d like to hear your responses as well.  Here we go…

1. Keep your hair Maintained! However you choose to wear your hair, in whatever style…. keep it up and keep it looking good.  You knew before you got that “halle berry/nia long” cut that you would then have to keep up with your touch-ups and maybe see your beautician every two weeks or so.  If you cannot afford to stick with it, don’t choose such a style.  Well groomed hair will not only look more presentable, but what man wants to take a woman out who looks like a chia pet?  Make your boyfriend/husband proud.  Split ends, not combed, half-relaxed and half natural hair is just not cool.  If your transitioning as I have been through, I understand well it may be a bit more work to manage, but it is doable.  Even a simple ponytail can be made to look elegant.  Please keep your hair clean and looking good at all times, it doesn’t take much work to reach for that brush and comb.  It also irks me so much whenever I see a woman with her hair ‘laid’, but her children’s hair a hot mess.  If you have kids, keep them looking good and fresh as well!

2.  Keep yourself clean & smelling good! I should not have to say this but I will.  Wash yourself atleast twice a day.  Shower and bath regularly.  No man wants a woman who smells like a bucket of fish scales.  And then women wonder why men won’t go ‘there’ with them…. this is why.  It is just plain unsanitary, and is a practice of unhealthy hygiene for those  that have access to plenty of resources to keep clean choosing to keep a dirty body.  I am an addict of showers myself.  I take em twice a day and sometimes more.  You feel so much better when you’re clean.  Take advantage of scented lotions and bodywashes.  Here in America we are big on facetowels, but soft sponges have also widely also become more popular in the past years.    These scrubs work wonders and go hand in hand with bodywash. There are several specialty stores (for ex. Victoria’s Secret and Bath and Body Works) that sale all types of scents that will have you smelling wonderful all day long, and your boo will love it as well.   And a hint, if you want to go a far cheaper route:  Johnson’s baby oil is the way to go!

3.  Keep your Nails Groomed! I have become a big fan of manicures within the last couple years, where as in the past I would just keep my nails trimmed and painted with a clear coat myself.  But, I absolutely love the french tip look and am now experimenting with different colors depending on my mood.  Either way, your nails (hands and feet) should stay trimmed, and they should definately stay clean, especially if you wear them long.  I have a habit of if possible, quitely looking at a person’s nails.  If they look dirty and unkept, then *poof*…there goes my appetite!!  And, as sexy as you think it is, it hurts to be scratched by jagged, sharp nails.  You can very easily leave welts or cause bleeding…. so, don’t do it to your man.  Just a question, but how would you feel if he did that to you?

4.  Learn How to Cook! This actually should have been higher on my list.  Everyone needs to learn how to cook.  Now, I’m not saying I think you should be ‘America’s Next Top Chef’, but you can learn the basics so that your not constantly eating out all the time, or warming up boxed dinners and passing it off as your own.  In the long run, you will save money in your pocket, and please your man’s palate at the same time. Also, it’s healthier for you as well.  I consider cooking a hobby, and I absolutely love to do it.  Infact, the kitchen is my favorite part of my whole condo.  Foodian is I’ve been called before plenty of times, because I love to cook and eat so much.

And lastly but not the least……5.  Act like a lady in public!

I really could care less what anyone decides to do behind closed doors, but out in public we as women should try to carry ourselves as civilized people.  I really don’t care for and find it embarrassing when I see women cursing and causing scenes like they have no sense at all.  It’s also very troubling for women to disrespect their man in public.  There is a time and place for everything.  Certain circumstances are understandable…. but if your man is just one who is down on his luck (ex. jobless) then there is no reason why you should air your dirty laundry for all of us to hear.  Yes, I said “your” because you two as a couple are a unit, and who is going home with him? It’s you…. not the rest of us.  So in essence you’re making the both of you look equally bad.

Nasty mouths anywhere but in the bedroom will not get you ahead as far as a job or opportunity is concerned.  You might frighten strangers who think you are hot tempered, or cause distance between people who don’t want to be around someone like you, and that is about it.  This is one mentality that we have to get over.  We do not have to curse people out, every chance we get.  It’s not funny, it’s quite rude and unladylike… atleast to me.

Okay, so there you have it, my list of things that women should perfect.  What do you think?  What would you add or take away… and why?

[photo source -VyneWorld]

Catchy title, eh?

Well, after hearing of some disturbing gossip today, the point of this post is to ask, why do people even get married anymore?

Don’t get it twisted, I have never been married yet would love to one day. I’ve dreamed about it, thought about it, prayed about it.  I do believe in true love. I do believe that there is someone out there for everyone else, who can truly love a person unconditionally and never-ending. Yet, how many people do we have to go through to find them, and why do so many people waste their time on others that they know are not the best for them?

Far too often do I hear of people, strangers and those that I know, cheating on folks that they claim that they love. They try darn hard to hide it most of the time. They work over time to balance a life outside of their committed relationships. Others, They may lie to each other and fight constantly. Some are very aware of each others dirty work yet never say something about it or work on changing anything. Some just go to church on sunday morning as if they are the idealistic, perfect couple, holier than thou and perfect in every way.

Whatever.

What do you look to gain in a documented marriage, which is a legal contract between two people? Are your vows to treat your significant other with respect only worth its words after you stand in front of a judge or Reverend?  Will a person’s lying, cheating ways stop after they confess to God and in front of family and friends how much they love you??  Is love measured by a size of a ring or by status? Nope, nope and nope.

I personally don’t want a man to marry me just to say they are.  I want them to do ask me only because they love me as I am, they can’t see themselves with anyone else, and only if I truly make them happy.  I never will say yes to anyone I’m doubtful of, or who has previously broken promises of fidelity and respect time and time again by initimately being with other people.  I don’t believe God wants any less for me, and I’ll be no less for that perfect person.

For that reason, I can be non married for the rest of my life and not complain.  I’d rather be in love all my life with a partner than find myself in a unhappy marriage with another.  Marriage, commitment, and love are three totally different things that too many people have confused. You don’t have to be married to stay in love, you don’t necessarily have commitment in your relationship if you are married.  Cheaters are my best examples of that.  They go out and sleep with one woman or man, then go back home to the “Good” one that they swear that they are wholly and happily “committed” to.

All I’m saying is that if your gonna get married, do it for the right reasons.  Do it for love.  Not for children, not for money, not for convienance, not to settle…. do it for love.  Else, what’s “marriage” got to do with it?