Hello, loyal reader. Are you a deadbeat? You know what a deadbeat is, right? A deadbeat parent, having no relationship with your children and not seeking one. Of course most people wouldn’t admit to it, but you know who you are. Take a breath, you’re not on trial today. This is about the deadbeat’s ally, The Deadbeat Enabler.

The Deadbeat Enabler can come in different forms, but the most prevalent and powerful of the deadbeat parent is the person who willingly dates them. Are you a deadbeat enabler? Does the person you are dating have children? How often do you see them? How often do they have them? It is up to you to ask them about their children and inquire as to why they aren’t active in their children’s lives. I’m sure the deadbeat has an excuse that sounds pleasing to the ears. Since they never have their children, they have a lot of time alone to think of a reason to tell people why they don’t. Remember, no excuse is a good excuse. Nova Knows.

Now that you know the person you are dating is a deadbeat, what are you going to do about it? The only honorable thing to do is disassociate yourself from this person. Before I continue, I’d like to let it be known that I’m speaking from experience and not a place of malice or judgment. A few years ago, I was involved with a woman who I found out had a child in South Carolina. She had a great story as to why her child lived hundreds of miles away. Me wanting to give her a chance, I accepted the story. I had come to the conclusion that her child lived far away because she had the child at an early age, and living with someone more mature was in the child’s best interests. Then, I started noticing she never even called her child while I was around. Come to find out she hadn’t even spoken to her child in years AND had a second child in South Carolina she NEVER spoke of. What do you think I did? I detached myself from her. No, we can’t date. No, we can’t be friends. Of course the deadbeat will play the victim and beg for you to understand their plight. There is nothing to understand. They can’t even be loyal to their own children, so they damn sure can’t be loyal to you. Do you think it is wise to be intimate with such a person? What do you think will happen if you two have a child together? Do you think they will be responsible all of a sudden? Don’t be stupid. Even if they are, that doesn’t excuse them from being responsible for the children they already have.

In this day and age, there is an epidemic of deadbeat enablers. They vary from people casually dating a known deadbeat to those really TAKING CARE of deadbeats like a child of their own. This is definitely a problem. However, for every problem there is a solution. See, there are certain things that would make us social outcasts. If we didn’t bathe and smelled like feces, we’d be social outcasts. If we committed horrendous crimes, we’d be social outcasts. Well, isn’t bringing children into this world and not taking care of them (physically and emotionally) not a horrendous crime? It is up to ALL of us to do a better job at identifying and shunning deadbeats. It is okay to ask your friends, “Hey! When is the last time you saw your kids?” or “How are your little ones doing?” during casual conversation. In the end, it isn’t just about that person avoiding responsibility. It is about their children and OUR children, and the future and society as a whole. I believe one of the reasons people feel they owe know allegiance to their children is they aren’t penalized for it. They can still mingle with the rest of us, partying, enjoying themselves as if they never created a life they are responsible for. That isn’t right. There are many studies proving the absence of parenthood is a contributing factor to many problems in children, carrying over into their adulthood. More people than just their absent parent deserve some of the blame.

This isn’t just an article. This is a call to action for all of us. It is time for us to hold ourselves and our friends to a standard that will benefit everyone as a whole. It is time to make parenthood cool (even though us active parents already know it is). We don’t have to go to the club, brother. How about I get my kids, you get your kids, and we all meet at the park? Deadbeats, deadbeat enablers, bad parents, good parents, friends, foes, rich, poor, Black, White, tall, skinny… we have some work to do.

Thank You,

Nova Giovanni

www.NovaGiovanni.com

You can download the free book, “The MisEdukation of the Nigga” can be downloaded at www.TinyUrl.com/MisEdukation

Hello loyal reader. With the recent passing of Valentine’s Day, this article is right on time. Perhaps you’re single and lonely, all the while wondering why. On the other hand, you may be in a relationship but know it isn’t true love. I am here to help you escape love purgatory. Here are Nova Giovanni’s Top 5 Reasons You Can’t Find True Love:

1. Your standards are too high. What do you bring to the relationship other than another person’s children? You have a grocery list of requirements for your next mate, but you fail to have any accomplishments or accolades yourself. If you’re looking for a major upgrade, wait until your phone contract makes you eligible for one, because it isn’t likely you will get one with a relationship.
2. You’re looking in all the wrong places. You think you’re going to find the love of your life in a nightclub or liquor store? My father always told me, most times where you meet someone is what you bring home. Stop looking for diamonds in trash bins.
3. You’re in a relationship with the wrong person now. You’ll never find true love because you have the wrong person occupying the space your true love should be in. Since science teaches us two objects can never occupy the same space, you can’t find true love.
4. You don’t deserve it. You’re either dishonest, ugly, a bum, a deadbeat parent, or all of the above and have a number of many other repulsive characteristics you should repair before seeking out someone else to share your empire of filth with.
5. You accept relationship advice from the wrong people. Stop taking love lessons from your mother when she has failed to show you what a stable relationship is by being in one. That bitch is just as clueless as you are. Stop listening to your loser friends. In fact, you should even stop listening to me! Nova Knows!

Tough Love is Better Than No Love.

I Love You,

Nova Giovanni

www.NovaGiovanni.com

FREE EBOOK!!! The MisEdukation of the Nigga by Nova Giovanni, is available at www.TinyURl.com/MisEdukation

He is a Bum – As far as he is concerned, you’re his free meal ticket. Your boyfriend has turned your happy home into a soup kitchen. He isn’t working and he isn’t trying to. He probably keeps you satisfied by pursuing some pipe dream and/or attending college classes with no real intentions of graduating. You go to work, he is laying around. You come home from work, he is laying around. If he isn’t laying around, he is using your car and other resources. Dump him.

He is Insecure and Controlling – He wants to know your every move and why. He goes through your things. He accuses you of being dishonest and constantly questions you. He isn’t just your boyfriend, he is your probation officer. He has too much time on his hands and too little confidence. Dump him.

He Doesn’t Take Care of His Children – I hope you aren’t planning on starting a family with a man that doesn’t take care of the children he already has. In fact, I hope you aren’t even entertaining a man that falls into this category. If he makes time for you, and none for his children – that is enough proof he isn’t the man for you or anyone else. It really proves he isn’t a man at all. Don’t enable a deadbeat. Dump him.

His Mother is Too Involved – Every time there is an issue, he runs to his mother. Next time he runs to her, let him stay there. Evidently, he never grew up. It is as if you’re dating him and his mother. Let him go sleep with his mother! Dump him!

You Aren’t Compatible – Look at your relationship as it is now. Would you like to have this type of relationship for the rest of your life or are you in a sub par relationship hoping things will one day get better? They won’t. Things will most likely get worse before they get better. DUMP HIM!

I know you don’t like being alone. However, you’ll never have the man you truly deserve if you have a man that doesn’t deserve you taking up the space he should have. Nova Knows.

“Just Dump Him” -Nike

I Love You,

Nova Giovanni

www.NovaGiovanni.com

Download the FREE Ebook, “The MisEdukation of the Nigga” by Nova Giovanni at www.TinyUrl.com/MisEdukation

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Thank you all for the support.

-Nova Giovanni

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ethnic group or nation”>

story by Nova Giovanni

Hello, loyal reader. I’m here with some Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul. The topic at hand is the genocide going on around us. By definition, genocide is: The deliberate killing of a large group of people, especially those of a particular ethnic group or nation. There is no need to ask whether genocide is happening in our American inner cities; it is quite evident. A more relevant question is: are these genocides being facilitated by a force INSIDE or OUTSIDE of the community? The simple answer is: BOTH. It is easy to play the blame game. However, let us remember that when we point our finger; at least three fingers are pointing back at ourselves.

First of all, the prevalence of alcohol and drug use in inner city communities is rampant. Visit any area dubbed as “The Hood” in America, look for a library, and count how many liquor stores you pass before arriving there. Instead of sharpening our minds, we are nearly force-fed intoxicants to pacify us and cloud our judgment. As a direct result, a hectic environment with a heightened crime rate is created. As far as drugs are concerned, there is no way to justify selling poison. However, a common myth is all drug dealers sell these poisons to live a glamorous life. In reality, this is hardly the case. There are many people selling drugs, but not many living a luxurious lifestyle. Perhaps, selling drugs is appealing to those seeking employment and can’t fathom another way of providing for their family. It is easy to look at a tree, criticizing the worn leaves and deformed branches. Just remember, every tree has a root. In reality, more gainful employment would eliminate the perceived need in many people to sell drugs. If you go days without feeding your dog, can you REALLY blame it for tearing open the trash and eating it?

“The instinct to survive is human nature itself, and every aspect of our personalities derives from it.” -Robert A. Heinlin

Another problem plaguing inner cities is bad health. The combination of sexual promiscuity, poor diets, and other factors are turning our communities into a breeding ground for disease from the youngest to the oldest. Sexually transmitted diseases, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease, obesity, and diabetes are bigger threats to our personal freedom than foreign terrorism ever has been. Easily accessible and unhealthy fast food establishments is only ushering us to our graves. In addition, the traditional diet we call “soul food” is killing us. Perhaps, it is called “soul food” because it sends us to our creator faster. Furthermore, a majority of people living in these neighborhoods don’t have health insurance. As a result they usually don’t seek medical help for their ailments until their illness is severe and oftentimes the damage is irreversible. Last but not least, another factor in this genocide, be it metaphorically or literally, is the so-called “War on Drugs.” I am far from being a conspiracy theorist, but it is evident that this “war” is also used an excuse to profile and arrest those in our impoverished communities. Consequently, young men are arrested, and become modern-day slaves in a scheme of prison industrialism. For example, Powhatan Correctional Center has a silkscreen, a print shop, and a license plate tag shop. To narrow it down, Powhatan Correctional Center makes ALL of the license plates for the state of Virginia at a rate of around one every 20 seconds. The last time I bought license plates for a new vehicle, it cost me 140 dollars. The inmates working in these tag shops (there are usually around fifty in the shop at a time) only to get a maximum of forty cents an hour. I’m sure we’re all familiar with the rumor that it costs an extreme amount of money to house inmates. That is merely propaganda. Prison is a very lucrative industry with a minimum annual profit of two billion dollars. Television lies, newspapers lie, but numbers don’t. In conclusion, there are many more facets to the genocide in our communities.

Anyone can talk about the problems, it is time to present solutions. I, Nova Giovanni, believe that one of the best ways to change things from the inside out is through education. Becoming formally educated and taking it upon ourselves to learn our own history would improve. Achieving higher education can help us become better established, eventually creating our own jobs and business; thus, employing others. Through self-education and researching the history of our respective cultures, it will definitely fill us with an added sense of pride. Me being African-American, after learning things most schools never teach us about our culture; I started carrying myself with more esteem. I learned Africans built some of the most grandiose and advanced civilizations, and my history didn’t begin with slavery as public schools would have us assume. Regardless of your ethnicity, I’m sure if you research it you’d be surprised to see what you find. After all, the higher we think of ourselves, the better we’ll treat ourselves and allow others to treat us. It’s messed up where they’ve got us. It’s even more messed up where we keep ourselves.

I Love You,

Nova Giovanni

What do YOU think about this article and what do you believe ways to improve the conditions in the inner-city? I’d love to hear them. Email me at NovaSpeaks@gmail.com

Related articles

• ‘Hamilton Street,’ a Harrisburg-based Web drama, looks at ‘the reality of what’s going on’ in the city (pennlive.com)
• Centuries of Genocide (psypress.com)
• Break the Silence: Walk Against Genocide and Rape (congoayuk.wordpress.com)

“>

Do you want to be the 45 year old in nightclubs, wearing outdated clothing, getting laughed at and denied dances? Of course you don’t. Think of yourself as a car. As soon as you leave the lot (become an adult), your value begins to depreciate with every mile (year) you put on. Do you really want to be rented out person by person, tallying up more and more miles, to never feel the love of a serious owner? Would you like to be retired in a nice garage or a lowly junkyard? Ladies, unless you become very wealthy; you depreciate twice as fast as men. Fellas, your sexual organs stop working like they used to as the years go by. Time is ticking.

Wouldn’t you like to have a family, spouse, and stability? Monitor the single people on social networks and television. Now, count the complaints; they are astronomical. The single life is fun at first, but after people reach a certain age is when you can hear the bitter undertone in their voice. Eventually, it seems as if their insecurities get the best of them. Their excuses for being single goes from “I’m single by choice and don’t need a relationship to be happy” to “I can’t find someone on my level” to “I can’t trust anyone enough to give them that much power in my life”, ending in a lifetime of loneliness. It turns into you being 70 years old, in a home full of (__insert_type_of_dirty_pet_here___) and your children and siblings ignoring your phone calls because they are busy enjoying THEIR families. Don’t be THAT person. Nova Knows.

I’ve said all of that to say this… GROW UP! Grow up and do what grown people do; be responsible adults. Get a family, have some children, raise them responsibly so they can help this world somehow. No, your family and/or spouse won’t be perfect; no person or situation is. However, we’re like puzzle pieces – not perfect squares that fit beside one another. Us as puzzle pieces have uneven corners and blank spaces, but with enough concentration we can fill those with the strengths of those we surround ourselves with and build these families with. Thus, bettering the world as a whole. Don’t you want to better the world?

“We are the world.” – Catholic Priest Michael Jackson

I Love You,
Nova Giovanni

Nova Giovanni is owner and head writer at www.NovaGiovanni.com and also the author of the underground classic “Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul”, available at www.NovaGiovanni.com/book for only $2.99
Twitter – @NovaGiovanni

Facebook – Facebook.com/NovaKnows

Related articles

• It Takes Courage to Love by Nova Giovanni (novagiovanni.com)
• A Father is a Child’s First Hero (by @StretchD and @NovaGiovanni) (novagiovanni.com)
• 7 Secrets to Graduating from Babymama to Wife by Nova Giovanni (novagiovanni.com)

Hello, loyal reader. Before I begin this list, I’d like to state the fact that it is possible to like one thing without disliking the other and I am fully capable of this feat. Therefore, my reasons for preferring Black women in no way automatically means I dislike women of other races.

The following is only five of MANY reasons why I (Nova Giovanni) prefer to date Black women. I’m sure there are a lot of men who share the very same sentiments:

1. A Black Woman Can Relate to “The Black Experience:  As a Black man, there are certain things we experience that other races don’t. Even our thinking is different, and a Black woman can relate to it. If I’m driving and a police car is behind me, I get nervous. A Black woman won’t ask a seemingly (to me) dumb question like, “why do the police make you nervous if you aren’t breaking the law?”

2. Black Women Season Their Food: Most Black women season their food in a way that is pleasing to my taste buds. Before you accuse me of perpetuating a stereotype, remember that there is a bit of truth sprinkled in most stereotypes (sprinkle, seasoning – you see what I did there? Lol).  Furthermore, coming from a multicultural family, I’ve seen this stereotype proven true time and time again. Put a blindfold on me, sit me at a cookout table, and witness me taste the difference between my White aunt’s and my Black aunt’s potato salad.

3. Black Women Have Brown Nipples: I prefer brown nipples (remember, this article is about my preferences). Pink nipples remind me of pepperonis. I hate pork!!! Enough said.

4. I Love Black women’s Hair: I love it all, ever texture and length. I love every kink, curl, and hue. Even if it is weave. You paid for it, lady. Mix and match it, glue and stitch it, show off your arts and crafts skills. Show the world you creativity has no limitations, Black woman!

5. I Love a Black Woman’s Strength: Going back and reiterating the point made in the foreword, this doesn’t mean women of other races aren’t strong. However, Black women emit a different kind of strength. Turning on the television, logging onto the internet, or opening a magazine and seeing that the world isn’t playing fair when it comes to you is enough to hurt the average person’s self-esteem. Not a Black woman though. Most of the Black women media broadcasts is the image of an obnoxious, lazy, and/or dumbed down woman. In my personal life, I know and have dated way more professional, intelligent, and career having Black women than what popular culture depicts. I’m not even going to speak in depth about the slew of Black men who attempt to make Black women feel uncomfortable in their own skin (that would be a whole separate article.) Brothers, we can prefer to date outside of our race without attempting to hurt the egos of Black women in the process. Nova Knows.

I Love You (even if you’re not Black),

Nova Giovanni

Nova Giovanni is owner and head writer at www.NovaGiovanni.com and also the author of the underground classic “Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul”, available at www.NovaGiovanni.com/bookfor only $2.99

Twitter – @NovaGiovanni

Facebook – Facebook.com/NovaKnows

Hello, loyal reader. By looking at the title you probably assume this article will be a combination of unrealistic concepts of love, blended with a dash of corny rhetoric, and sprinkled with generic phrases. WRONG!
Let me start by reiterating the main point; it takes courage to love. Think about it, any coward can “casually date” or “pull hoes” (that’s EASY). It takes a special kind of person to let their guard down, over come insecurities, and love someone we aren’t obligated to even care about. We see a man with multiple women, and the common consensus is he is a lucky guy to be so successful with women. However if he was TRULY successful with women, he would have (successfully) found ONE to make his partner. Perhaps his own uncertainties won’t let him. Maybe his heart was broken when he was younger and now his self esteem is permanently bruised. I used to look at these kinds of men with admiration when I was younger. Now, I’m an adult and feel sorry for them. I feel sympathetic for them because they will never get the kind of love from dating several women that they’ll get from settling down with one woman. Although the example I’ve given is of a man, this topic is not gender specific and applies to women as well. Quality is always better than quantity. Nova Knows.

Let us not be mistaken. “Settling down” doesn’t necessarily equal love. Love is about letting go of all your preconceived notions about relationships and giving someone a fresh start in your life. Love is about not carrying the baggage and hurt from past relationships into your new one. Love is not about being bootleg private investigator and validating your confidence in someone by constantly checking behind them. Love is not about being apprehensive in trust because someone violated you or took your love for granted in a past relationship. Love is about always having the best interests of your partner at heart and having faith they do the same. Only loving yourself and family – anybody can do that! Grow up and love someone, be an adult for once.

I Love You,
Nova Giovanni

Nova Giovanni is owner and head writer at www.NovaGiovanni.com and also the author of the underground classic “Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul”, available at www.NovaGiovanni.com/book for only $2.99

Twitter – @NovaGiovanni

Facebook – Facebook.com/NovaKnows

First and foremost, this is written for those actually WANTING to graduate from babymama to wife. For some, this may not apply. Either you don’t want to be HIS wife or you’re already doing all these things and HE is at fault. However, even if it doesn’t apply to the father of your child/children; most of these rules are universal in dealing with ALL men. Nova Knows.

1. Learn to Cook. Eating out is fine every once in a while, but every man wants a home cooked meal. If five or more of his debit purchases are at Wendy’s, then Wendy is more of a wife than you are. It doesn’t mean you’re domesticating yourself, it means you’re pleasing someone you care about.
2. Don’t Fuss About Everything. Nobody wants to be with a worrywart. He didn’t wash a spoon thoroughly? Wash it right and keep it moving. There is no need to wake him up out of his slumber, waving a spoon in his face, and starting an argument.
3. Don’t Be Jealous. Do other women show him a lot of attention? At one time, you was probably one of those women. As long as he respects your relationship and no boundaries are crossed; just relax.
4. Have Things Going on for You In Your Own Life. If you have time to chase him around, pick arguments, and do everything short of stalking him; you have too much time on your hands. Enroll into school, get a hobby, start a business. Do SOMETHING.
5. Don’t Share Your Relationship Business With Outsiders. It is just NONE of their business. If it isn’t positive, it shouldn’t be said out of your mouth and should NEVER EVER EVER be posted on social networks. Once it is on the internet, it is on there forever.
6. Learn How to Play the Background. Just because you are all lovey dovey for the public, posting pictures on Facebook and Instagram of you two, doesn’t mean he has to be. I know a lot of attention hungry won’t understand this concept. Perhaps he isn’t hiding you, maybe he is PROTECTING you. We don’t have to be on front street, as long we both know where the car is parked.
7. TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN. This is the MOST important rule. Just take care of the children. Besides, in this whole dynamic – they are who REALLY matter. It is quite possible that becoming a wife just isn’t for you and he isn’t husband material. At the end of it all, you two still owe the child a healthy environment and a fair head start in life. That means: no drama, no talking bad about each other in front of your child, and not allowing others to do the same. In today’s society, our children need all the help they can get. The home should always be a safe haven in which they always feel like they can retire to after the outside world has been rough. Save the babies!

I Love You,

Nova Giovanni

Author. Activist. Freelance Writer.

www.NovaGiovanni.com

Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul (book) available at www.NovaGiovanni.com/book for only $2.99

Facebook.com/SydneyEllese

-Nova Giovanni-

Hello, loyal readers. Al and I have presented to you gems in “Be A Gentleman” and “Be a Man”. THIS shit right HERE (say it in your Katt Williams voice) is a combination of both, concentrating on women. Admittedly, I’d like to put it out there that I’m not always the most respectful person when it comes to women. However, I’m not the most respectful when it comes to anyone; so it evens out. Regardless as to how we (men) have treated women as individuals, I’m pretty sure most of us can come to an agreement that we need to treat women better as a whole. I’m not pointing a finger at any other male when it comes to this, because I’m sure I’ve done the worst to women. I’ve broken hearts, taken advantage of women’s feelings for me, led women along just to stroke my own ego, and played with love like a game. I swear none of it was worth it. Al, talk to the ladies…

-Al Patron-

Women. I LOVE YOU. I could stop right here, but being so short would be a grave injustice to everything that you mean to me and this world. Mother Earth, Mother Nature, etc.. You are strong, driven, you nurture, you forgive, you teach and love unconditionally. So many adjectives can be used to describe everything you are but the bottom line is that you’re beautiful and deserve everything your heart desires. As a man, I think we tend to take for granted everything you are because of everything you aren’t, which is completely unfair to you. We go through life searching for perfection in women, knowing we aren’t ever going to be perfect ourselves. So instead we go from perfect replacement to perfect replacement rather than seeing you for the perfect compliment you are. Women, you have your own thoughts, goals and sense of humor, you shouldn’t be subjected to us imposing our will on you. Now I realize that you “think like a man…” because we didn’t appreciate your thoughts as they were and as they should be, we do and will from now on. You’re beautiful from the sight of your smile to the sound of your laugh and the scent of your smell. One moment that helped me realize how much I appreciate women is sort of random but a moment nonetheless. Seeing a woman enjoying her favorite food, tilting her head shoulder to shoulder, humming a song & swinging her feet is truly something to behold and gets a genuine ear to ear smile from me every time.

-Nova Giovanni-

Brothers, lets make a pledge. In fact, lets make a PACT! Lets make a “Patience Pact”. Lets be more patient with our women. It is time to be more empathetic and put ourselves in their shoes. It is time to take responsibility for our own actions and trespasses instead of being so quick to judge what the woman is doing. It is time to transform our women into Queens. By definition, a Queen is someone having eminence or supremacy in a given domain and personified as a woman. It is time to allow our women to claim their domains, give them the rights they deserve, and very importantly; PERSONIFY them as women. There is a saying, “Life is chess, not checkers.” If you know anything about chess, then you know the Queen is the most powerful chess piece on the board. Not only that, but her sole mission is to protect her King. Therefore, if you don’t know how to give a Queen her rightful place in your castle; how do you expect to succeed as a King? The REAL question is, ARE YOU A KING AT ALL?

-Al Patron-

Women. I promise to be man you want, need & deserve me to be. You should be adorned not turned scorned. When you need me, I will be there to pick you up, not put you down. When you want me, I will make myself available, not disappear. Your happiness is my responsibility as a man, I will make you smile. Your laughter is my pleasure, I will tickle your fancy. When you’re stressed out, I’ll alleviate your headache & not add to it. I apologize for ever calling you out of your name. I apologize for any future indiscretions, they’re unwarranted. I will make love to your mind, heart, spirit & body. I will be your better half as you have been mine. Please receive me. You are the most precious resource for a man & deserve to be carried accordingly. Women, all your work doesn’t go unnoticed & I appreciate you.

-Nova Giovanni-

Children make excuses, adults make changes. Lets make a change. I’d rather…

www.NovaGiovanni.com

“Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul” (book) by Nova Giovanni is also available for only $2.99 at www.NovaGiovanni.com/book