- I am Nova Giovanni, your brother. Thou shalt recognize that I am imperfect and have broken a majority of the following commandments.
- Thou SHALT get nervous when noticing the police behind you in traffic. You are commanded to fasten your seatbelt in a manner that draws no attention to yourself. Never forget, your personal property can’t be legally searched without a warrant.
- Thou SHALT NOT have children before getting married, becoming financially stable, and creating an environment suitable for raising a child.
- Thou SHALT STOP giving your children names that will make it harder for them to be employed in the future. You are hereby prohibited from naming your offspring after cars you can’t afford and combining the names of the parents to form one.
- Thou SHALT arrive to your job on time and not use your breaks to gossip about your co-workers. Thou shalt STOP telling your supervisors what you WON’T do. Thou shalt STOP calling in sick on your birthday.
- Thou SHALT STOP taking pictures of yourself in the bathroom mirror. It is just plain tacky, and Colgate isn’t paying you to advertise their toothpaste in all of your Facebook photos.
- Thou SHALT NOT glorify poor character and bad behavior in public. Sexual Promiscuity shows your lack of self respect. Loud and constant cursing shows your limited vocabulary. You know what the f*ck I mean?!?!
- Thou SHALT NOT say anything about a person that you wouldn’t say in their presence. If caught breaking this commandment, you are subject to and deserve physical injury.
- Thy outfit on any given day SHALL NOT be worth more than your car. Additionally, the rims on your car shall not be worth more than thy car itself.
- Thou SHALT stop worshiping celebrities, start learning about the history of our people, and keep that information holy.
“Ramen Noodle Soup For The Soul” by Nova Giovanni is on Amazon.com for only 99 cents! – http://amzn.to/qoMgDN
Twitter – @NovaGiovanni
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