A Letter: So Rihanna let Chris brown have some of her “Birthday Cake”
Posted by on Feb 21, 2012

Dear Robyn ‘Rihanna’ Fenty:

Girl, you are a bad b*tch. You do things your way and definitely keep the people talking and stalking your every move. It’s good to see you having fun again because I wasn’t really feeling that “Russian Roulette” mess.

When reports came out that you were teaming up creatively (and may have been personally) with Chris Brown there was an uproar. So many people disappointed that you were able to move on from the fact that he hurt you 3 years ago and have had their panties all in a bunch. But you weren’t worried about it and played it cool because I just listened to that record and while their panties were in a bunch what is in your panties was probably doing cartwheels.

I mean we’ve all seen Chris’ package so it must have been beyond liberating to finally be able to let the world know that he could still hit that or is still hitting that. No pun intended. Dickmotization is real. Not 1 female I know can admit to not having fell under that spell.

So do you. You are young, you are rich. You are supposed to make mistakes, it’s just a shame you have to learn from them in the public eye. Everyone is worthy of forgiveness. Forgiveness is what truly sets you free as the victim. But maybe that is what your whole angle is in this situation. Maybe you are tired of being looked at as the victim. Everyone is worthy of redemption. Even though Chris hasn’t redeemed himself with poise, charm, and grace, he’s young and has a lot to learn as well.

That is the real problem everyone has with this situation. It seems that since the incident, Chris has become more of a nuisance. Even angrier then we ever thought he could be before this happened. Being angry all the time is now apart of his image. We expect that when he gets negative feedback that he is going to go on a twitter rant. I want him to surprise us one time and not even engage in the negativity. But again, Chris is a passionate firecracker and I can relate to that as I am one too but Rihanna you must understand if that firecracker ever blows up on your face, I mean in your face again, no one is going to be there to comfort you. You will no longer be the victim. But for your own personal solace that is the risk you have to take and I am not mad at it.

I trust that will never be a scenario you will ever have to play out ever again. At the end of the day, both you and Breezy were placed on this earth to entertain (and this is damn sure what you both are doing); not to please us with the choices you decide to make in your personal lives. *turns up “Birthday Cake” remix and patiently waits for you to release the full version of the one on the album*

I wonder if there is a sex tape of the make up sex you and Breezy had in order for him to pen something like this:

“Girl, I wanna f*ck you right now.
Been a long time. I been missin your body.
Lemme lemme turn the lights down.
When I, when I go down it’s a private party.
Ooh ooh, it’s not even her birthday,
but I wanna lick the icing off.
Give it to her in the worst way.
Can’t wait to blow her candles off.”

It must have been orgasms of epic-ness. I pray that it be released one day. Until then I shall clap my hands and attempt at clapping my a** cheeks to this remix.

Sincerely a girl that hasn’t always been a fan of your music, but has always been the ultimate fan of your raw ratchet-ness that wishes I could have a chance to do hood rat things with my friends (you) just one time before I die,

~Eb the Celeb

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    [...] industry but every once in a while something bothers me so much that I have to write a letter. Like here with Rihanna or here with Andre 3000. Whether they read it or not somehow I feel the message [...]

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