A Letter: Wherefore art thou solo project Andre 3000?
Posted by on Nov 22, 2011

Dear André Lauren Benjamin :

There was a time when people wondered what the heck you had been up to. It seemed you had fell off the face of the earth. I smiled from ear to ear last year when out of blue you appeared on the remix of Chris Brown’s “Deuces.” Then in 2011 you erupted on almost every highly anticipated album this released this year. No one has seen you, but we all have heard you loud and clear. Even though the majority of these verses have nothing to do with the rest of the song (I truly believe you had verses in the bag and just emailed whatever one you wanted to said artists without even listening to the tracks), but it didn’t matter. I was just happy to know that the eclectic hip hopper was still in the studio. In case those reading forgot, let’s reminisce on his 2011 features.

Beyonce “Party”

Lloyd “Dedication To My Ex (Miss That)”

Lil’ Wayne “Interlude”

Drake “The Real Her”

And most recently joined Young Jeezy and Jay-Z on “I Do”

It’s already been confirmed that you will be featured on B.o.B’s sophomore album so I have to take a stand and let you know that I am Andre 3000 featured out. We don’t need you on anymore features. We need you to give us that solo project. I mean at least come out of hiding and show your face. Do you realize how distraught I was to see the premiere of the “Party” video and you were nowhere to be found? And you think you’re funny don’t you? The one time you did come out of hiding this year was for The Dungeon Family photo shoot for GQ where you posed with a mask on your face. This was just rude!

In 2012 I demand you show us those pearly whites again and that sexy mole; and not release anymore features until your album drops! If you want me to come in the studio to help you move the process along as your A&R I will work for free. Just please can we get this album and have you back on the scene to give the gays some inspiration on how to dress. Several of them have been struggling and are completely lost without you on a couple red carpets per year. All I want for Christmas is a youtube video of you unmasked announcing your 2012 album release date. Give the people what they want already!

Sincerely,

Eb The Celeb

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