Not any more.

Lately it seems like everywhere I turn people have forgotten the simple, timeless art of breaking up.  What was once a temporary inconvenience has turned into a life altering nightmare of epic and even tragic proportions.  Uttering the words ‘I think we should end this,’ can now get you sued or even killed.  I recently watched an old episode of Dr. Phil where one guest, Bonnie, had to deal with her soon-to-be ex husband writing and distributing vicious lies, in what her ex called The Bonnie Chronicles, to everyone she knows including her boss!  Another guest, Dawn allegedly unknowingly fell for a married man, broke it off when she found out he was indeed married, only to be sued later on by the man’s wife under North Carolina’s alienation of affection law, the same law that had singer Fantasia caught up.  In a more tragic case, Felicia Cruz, a mother of two, was murdered by her boyfriend of just five months, Miguel Pena, simply because she refused to move to Florida with him and was trying to break things off.  Two children are now without their mother because some jerk couldn’t take no for an answer.

When did breaking up with someone get this serious?!  I understand hurt feelings and not wanting to let go of someone you feel you love, but to resort to lawsuits and murder is past extreme.  Do you really need to sue because your man couldn’t keep his soul pole in his pants?  Do you really need to spread vicious lies and strip someone of their livelihood all to show how much you’re hurting?  Does the other person need to literally die?  When did breaking up breakdown?  When did it become unacceptable to just leave an unhappy relationship?  This society of instant gratification and entitlement has given certain people permission to feel as if the other person owes them something for wanting to leave.  It has told people that they don’t have to assume responsibility for their part in the demise, that they can simply pass the blame.  It has given people the false idea that hurt, loss and healing are not real parts of life so they don’t have to truly accept it; they don’t have to suck it up and move on.

Fortunately I’ve never had to live any of the experiences I’ve mentioned and I pray that I never will.  I prefer my breakups the old fashioned way.  However, for countless other women, and men, in the world this is a serious new reality.  The breakup has broken down, times have drastically changed and your very next breakup could very well end up being your last.

Picture it. You’re meeting up with a friend or maybe a hot blind date for a night on the town. As they walk up you begin to fill with excitement, but that excitement quickly turns to dread as you smell the rankness that escapes their mouths when they start to speak. Whether you’ve been the person on the receiving end of the funk or have dished out a little yourself after a yummy garlic dish, you know that having funky breath is definitely not pleasant. So how do you tell someone that their breath is a bit on the tart side? That’s where we come in. Here are three ways to politely tell that certain someone that their breath is not what’s up.

Pop Some Gum
This is the easiest way to tell someone their breath is tart without actually having to tell them. After the initial blast of un-fresh air play it cool for a few minutes before pulling out some gum and offering the offender a piece for themselves. Is the culprit turning down your gesture? Turn on the charm and try to convince them they should try the yummy flavor.

Have A Toast
Maybe the person you’re with doesn’t have a sweet tooth so the gum didn’t go over so well, but few people will pass up a cocktail. Convince your company to order something strong or sweet to drink and hopefully it will mask the smell long enough for you to get through the outing. But if that doesn’t work…

Be Honest
Notice I said honest, not rude! Playfully ask them what they had to eat before your meeting and let them know that you can still smell the dish on their breath. Offer them the gum or a piece of candy and then quickly change the topic to avoid and alleviate some of the awkward tension. Friends don’t let friends have bad breath so sometimes honesty is the way to go.

What are some of the ways you’ve had to tell someone about their hot breath?

• Know how to balance a check book.  This is definitely one I learned late in the game myself and while I don’t really write checks and can pretty much keep track of my finances in my head, it’s a good thing to know how to do.

• Know how to save money.  So many of my friends know how to spend money, but their bank accounts are two snack wraps away from piss poor.  They have Louie bags and pretty dresses, but only $200 in the bank and often times little to nothing in their savings, then when emergencies come up they have no cushion to fall on.  It doesn’t have to be a lot, but save….and not to buy expensive shoes, but to invest in your future.  Suze Orman is a pro at teaching women how to save, her books are definitely something every female should have.

• Know your body.  No not in a sexual way!  But know your body well enough to know when something is off.  You can’t be a fly diva if you’re too sick to move or worse yet, dead.

• Know how to put on a condom.  It sounds silly, but you wouldn’t believe how many friends I know that have ended up having unprotected sex because they fell for some fool’s okie doke line about not knowing how to put one on.  There are too many diseases out there.  Learn how to do it and learn quickly.

• Know how to keep a clean house.  No one wants to be around a dirty woman.  Like my granny says, if a woman’s house ain’t clean, neither is her…

• Know how to pump gas, change a tire and read a map.  No deep reason for this.  It’s just so when you’re ready to pick up and go, you can with no worries.

• Know how to manage your time and multitask.  You’ll be amazed at how much you can accomplish.

• Know when to say no.  I know I just said you should know how to multitask, but multitasking doesn’t mean that you have to do EVERYTHING for EVERYBODY, ALL THE TIME.  It’s okay to say no sometimes and anyone who truly cares about you will understand.

• Know your religion or spiritual base.  Understand that there is something bigger than you out there and get in touch with it.  It will keep you grounded and lead you in the right and positive direction.

• Know the world outside of your neighborhood/city/state/country.  The world is a big place, get to know it.  Make sure you travel far and travel often.  Take the time to learn about other cultures and gain a broader sense of the global community.  The experiences you have abroad can change you in ways you wouldn’t even imagine.

• Know who your true friends are.  Not everyone in your life deserves to be there.  Take inventory of who is truly looking out for your best interests and cut loose any dead weight.  Life is too short to be weighed down by people who don’t wish you well.

Did I miss anything?  What’s on your ‘must know’ list?

Of course not everyone is going without sex for 29 years, but I know people who act like going without it for 2 days is a sign of the apocalypse.  Many people lie about how active, or not, their sex lives really are, no one truly wants to admit that more often than not it’s just them and a pair of double AAs in the bed at night…if that.  For his part Gunn’s decision to refrain from sex was actually a reasonable one, Gunn claims the decision followed a difficult breakup and is partly “psychological.” He cites health, and fear of sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS.

According to Gunn:

“Do I feel like less of a person for it? No!” he said. “I am a perfectly happy, fulfilled individual.  I am happy to be healthy and alive, quite frankly.”

But let’s face it, no matter how practical and rational his reason, Gunn is in the minority.  Not too many people are trying to go 6 months without sex, so 29 years??  Yea no.  Most of the time if people go long periods without sex it’s not totally by choice; they probably just haven’t found anyone they find attractive enough to give it up to.  I tip my hat to Gunn because I personally went two years straight without sex in college and let me tell you, there was nothing fun about that right there.  Nothing.

 What’s The Longest You’ve Gone Without Sex?

See that last line…that would be where the young and dumb came in.

Anyway, it got me to thinking, what is the real difference between having sex, screwing, smashing, boning, etc and making love? The actions are the same in terms of positions and what not, so how can you tell when you’re doing one as opposed to the other? Clearly to make love you have to be in love with the other person, but can you not just screw the person you love? Does being in love mean that every sexual act you have with the other person is now classified as making love and not just plain old sex? I’d love to know what you all think so….

How do you differentiate between having sex and making love? Is it possible to just have sex with the person you love? Do you think you have to actually be in love to make love?

Have you ever been on a blind date? What were your best and worst experiences?

Despite the rumors that the duo were let go, their contracts were only for seven years and the time has come for them to pass the torch on to a new pair of fresh faces. But don’t shed tears for them just yet. Terrence J’s acting career is on fire thanks to cameos on BET’s The Game and starring roles in the smash hit Think Like A Man and Burlesque. As for Rocsi, she is currently a host of a radio show “Rocsi on the Radio,” preparing to launch her acting career and recently became a certified Zumba instructor.

Looks like these two don’t plan on slowing down anytime soon!

You realize your entire life has been actions taken based on someone else’s assignments. You’ve followed this career path because it’s the easiest, most lucrative or prestigious or you felt forced into it. However, getting on the wrong career path doesn’t mean that you’re now stuck.  Once you take the time to understand yourself and capitalize on that knowledge to get the job that makes you come alive, there will be no stopping you!

Here are three areas that are most important to focus on so that you can get on the right career path once and for all.

Discover Your True Strengths
Finding what you’re good at and focusing on those traits is always more beneficial than trying to improve something you’re not naturally amazing at. Find tasks and projects that capitalize on these strengths and stick to those. Not sure what your strengths are?  Try using StrengthsFinder 2.0 to help you find out.

Re-evaluate Your Passion
There’s a question you hear a lot when someone is asking you about your passion: “What would you do even if you weren’t getting paid for it?” The reality is you ultimately need to be paid to turn that passion into a career. Instead, ask yourself, “What’s something people are always complimenting me on that I absolutely love doing?” If you always focus on what’s external and play the people-pleaser role, you’ll always feel a bit lost and not in control of your destiny. Take the time to understand who you are internally and you’ll build the foundation needed to make good decisions based on your own assignment.

Tap Into Your Personality
Your personality is a combination of things that you can change and things you can’t. It’s amazing how much more clarity you have when you know why you do what you do.  Knowing how your personality plays a role in your passion can help you figure out which career path is best for you and how to go about it. The Meyers-Briggs personality test can help you tap into your true personality and the new you!

Her Funky, Unique Style

From African turbans to couture dresses, Solange wears them all — and well! Solange doesn’t follow the trends, she creates them. Her style is a funky mix of designers, colors, patterns and trends all perfectly blended together to create a style uniquely Solange. She’s not afraid to be bold and often dares to be different; her style stays true to her personality and what’s not to love about that.

Her Ever Evolving Hair

One day it’s big, one day it’s small. Some days it’s braided, some days it’s curly and free. However Solange chooses to wear her hair, she makes sure that it looks good. Just like with her clothing, Solange’s hair reflects her ‘wild child’ personality. She has fun with it, trying new styles and pushing the hair boundaries just a bit.

She’s Multi-Talented

Don’t sleep on our girl Solo, there’s more to her than meets the eye! Sure you often see her caring for her son Julez or supporting her sister Beyonce, but Solange is a star in her own right. Solange has her hands in everything from acting and modeling to DJing and recording music, she even co-launched the junior line Deréon, the sister line to House of Deréon. Solange is a woman with a myriad of talents and is no slouch. Keep your eye on Solange because she is definitely making sure that her presence is felt.