While we can debate whether or not the show does black women and our image a disservice, there’s one thing I am almost certain of: This reality show is anything but reality; it’s totally scripted.

Although I’m well aware that most reality shows have some element of staged drama, the conflicts, characters, and situations on “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” just feel more like a bad primetime soap opera than how real folks actually live. As one of my Twitter followers put it the other night, “‘Love & Hip Hop Atlanta’ is a bad telenovela, but with negroes.”

I agree. And here’s why.

Stevie J is a horrible actor — and it shows

I’m sorry, but one of the main reasons I can’t take this show seriously is Stevie J. Instead of coming off like a real person, he sounds like he’s serving up his best Blaxplotation performance or Mase impersonation. His reaction to everything is just so lackluster and monotone and is not anything close to being real.

Pregnant jump-off? Stevie’s expression is placid. Angry girlfriend? Stevie’s face is so still (and his voice so flat) he must sweat Botox. Getting them “paws” put on him? Stevie was talking to Scrappy like he was asking for some Grey Poupon instead of getting ready to fight.

If the “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” folks want me to believe this show isn’t a horribly acted dramedy, then I’m going to need Stevie J. to seem a little less plastic and a lot more real.

People don’t actually talk like this, do they?

I’m not from the South, so somebody school me. But between Stevie J’s threat to Joseline that he “has papers” on her, Karlie’s conversation with Mimi about Joseline “being down” for her man, and Lil’ Scrappy’s threat to “put them paws” on Stevie J. for dissing his woman, I can’t help but wonder if folks down South actually talk like this.

The way these folks sound makes me feel like I’m caught up in a bad street lit novel rather than listening in on normal conversations. And when you couple their dialogue with the super stylized camera shots, I just can’t take these folks at face value.

Mimi can’t possibly be this dumb … I hope

While “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” is about several people, it looks like the show’s producers are going to center the drama around Mimi and Stevie J.  To call their relationship “troubled” is an understatement; it’s a train wreck.

While Mimi is off cleaning office buildings (she owns a service), Stevie J. is holed up in his studio with his jump-off/protégé. Although it’s clear Stevie is cheating, and according to various reports he has been for years, Mimi is choosing to look the other way while pretending to be upset about it.

But she’s not fooling me. Although she claims she and Stevie have been together for 15 years, I distinctly remember his very high-profile engagement to Eve back in the early noughties. And while that relationship could have happened when Mimi and Stevie were on a break, I don’t know how many more times she needs to have him look into her eyes and promise he isn’t sleeping around before she gets a clue.

For her sake, I hope Mimi isn’t as dumb as she seems and is really playing along with this foolishness just to cash a check, because the alternative — that she really is this spineless — is just too sad for words.

Do you think “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” is completely scripted?

Ross’ new show, Reed Between the Lines, is billed as a 21st century Cosby Show, but is it? As many question whether or not it can live up to the hype, Ross is confident and proud in her show’s ability to fill a void and depict a positive black family living and loving on their own terms.

Recently, Vibe Vixen sat down with Ross to discuss the audience’s reaction to Reed Between the Lines, her personal style, and the advice she’d give her girlfriends who, like Joan, are still single and seeking.

VIBE Vixen: I spoke with you before Reed Between the Lines premiered and you were excited about people seeing it. Now that people have seen it, what do you think about the audience’s reaction?
Tracee Ellis Ross: I don’t know all of the viewers’ reactions. The only access I have is through Twitter, but I feel really proud of what we’ve done. I think it always takes some time to find a new show. For example, The Game existed before it went to BET, so it had a built-in audience. And part of why BET created this show was because it was something that its audience seemed to want and had been asking for—a family show. But it’s still very different from what’s been on BET, and it takes people a minute either to find it or for their palate to get used to it because it’s not typically found on BET.

The people that I have been in contact with, that I’ve run into on the street and on Twitter, seem to really enjoy it. They seem to be grateful that we have something on television that they can be proud of, and it feels like a show that represents a part of our audience that wasn’t being represented. And people really seem to like my clothes [Laughs].

VV: Well, we’ll get to that later.
Ross: But for me, I remember when Girlfriends started and how it took some time for us to find each other’s characters and to gel with the writers. It takes time.

VV: Do you think The Cosby Show comparisons set the audience expectations too high?
Ross: I don’t know. For some people, it’s a great context to know what the show might be and, for [others], it makes it hard because you’re comparing it to something that you have such a clear idea of. BET seems to be promoting it as the new Cosby which I don’t think it helpful, and I don’t think makes sense.

The way Malcolm [Jamal Warner] and I have been describing it is that we are in no way, shape or form, trying to be a new Cosby Show. What we are doing is taking the recipe of what Cosby did–a family show that was timeless and good–and use those elements.

I can’t get invested in whether it hurts the show or not. On other networks, they do two episodes and they pull a show from television. Sometimes that’s the greatest thing and sometimes it just never had a chance to grow. With BET, we did 25 episodes and we’re getting a chance. It’s really wonderful working with a network that wants your show and is behind your show. The audience asked for this kind of show, BET listened and they went out and have gotten behind our show. On other networks, I don’t know if that always happens.

VV: Is it difficult balancing your role as producer with starring in the show?
Ross: I wouldn’t say difficult, but it definitely makes for a long day. But it is the kind of full plate that I adore. I adore this kind of work, and it’s very rewarding. The producer role very much plays into the kind of person I am. In the evolution of my career, it is a really exciting step for me because I am the kind of creative person that has a real opinion about the kind of images that I want to portray and want in the public. Having a seat at the table with the many voices, that is part of the collaborative art of television and is really exciting and wonderful for me.

VV: One of the recent episodes dealt with a veteran with PTSD, and it was a little more serious. Will we be seeing more of that in upcoming episodes?
Ross: In terms of where we want to go as a show, I know that we all long for a nice balance with the comedy and the humor. Finding the grounded humor and not the joke humor is always the challenge.

VV: So you have this season and next season?
Ross: We have no idea; we’ll see if we get picked up. That’s always the gamble.

VV: Let’s talk about your style. Before when we spoke, you mentioned that some of the pieces from Girlfriends would find their way into Carla’s wardrobe. What’s the inspiration? Do you work with designers or find things out and about?
Ross: It’s stuff that’s been found out and about. The way I went about Joan and Carla is I always ask myself who this woman is. Every once in a while people say Carla is so much like Joan, and I’m like, People, Tracee plays both people. So what you’re seeing that’s the same between Carla and Joan is not Carla being like Joan, but it’s Tracee. Tracee was Joan and Tracee is Carla. It’s so funny people don’t understand that, it makes me laugh.

VV: I think it’s because we got so used to you as Joan.
Ross: You know Joan more than you know Tracee. That’s a good thing; it means I’m a great actor [Laughs]. But they are very different women. Joan was very neurotic and afraid. She did not have a lot of faith, and she was trying to have a lot more control over her life. It was a lot harder, there were a lot more suits, it was a little less flowy. Carla has a lot more faith, she has a lot more acceptance of herself and she has the support of a husband that accepts her as she is—which was Joan’s exact struggle. So Carla’s clothes are a lot softer, there are a lot less suits, there is a lot more movement and whimsy in her clothing.

VV: What are some of the difference in the way Tracee dresses versus Carla and Joan?
Ross: I am different than both of those ladies. I dress sexier than Carla, meaning I wear more form-fitting clothes. I have a little more edge to the way I dress than both of the ladies, and I dress down way more than both of those ladies. My regular attire is sweat pants or skinny jeans, and I’m the queen of the blazer. I will dress a look up by putting on a blazer. I’ll throw on a really great looking jacket with some sneakers and a pair of jeans. I love a bag. I have a collection of bags that I love.

In my real life, I’m always wearing lipstick. I wear lipstick when I work out. I don’t wear foundation, I really don’t wear any makeup, but I love lipstick.

VV: Do you have any favorites?
Ross: Right now I’m really hooked on Damned from NARS, and I’m always a Ruby W00 fan. There’s a Ruby Woo in my car, my purse and my home. Right now I have a collection of vintage t-shirts that’s making me so happy. A girlfriend of mind found these two great Diana Ross t-shirts, and it started a thing. Now I hunt for them!

VV: I know you don’t talk about your love life, but…
Ross: I know! You tried that the last time [Laughs].

VV: But Joan Clayton was a serial monogamist…
Ross: Not on purpose, she was really just a serial dater who was trying very hard to turn that into marriage.

VV: A lot of our readers are young women who are single, and there’s been a lot of discussion about Black women being single and doomed. What kind of advice would you give them?
Ross: Well, I never give advice. All I would say is there’s no method to this madness of life. No one has all the answers; no one is you. I don’t have all of the answers, but listen to yourself. Know yourself. Discover what works for you. You never know when things happen and how they happen, but an openness and willingness to be curious about your life and what it is that you really want and what package it’s going to come in is the journey.

A little while ago I stumbled across Bon Bon Vie, a t-shirt company aimed at women of color, and fell completely in love. As soon as I saw the “brown skin lady” t-shirt (worn by Afrobella on Twitter), I wanted it immediately. Already a fan of the Black Star song, the shirt seemed like THE perfect piece to rock when I wanted to be comfortable, but still look GOOD. Plus…I am a “brown skin lady,” so it works. #win

After seeing the Black Star inspired tee, I clicked on over to the Bon Bon Vie site and was amazed. In a word, the t-shirts are fierce.  Not only are they the brainchild of black female designer, Shari Neal, they are also full of positivity.

Personally, I’ll be copping a few of these fly shirts and I think you should too.

What do you think of Bon Bon Vie’s shirts? What’s on your favorite t-shirt?

(Continue reading Clutch…)

But despite our infatuation with finding Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now), many of us are fumbling our way through the dating game. Increasingly, we are living our lives, not just in real time, but also via the web. Sites like Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn have changed how we interact, both personally and professionally, and while much of it has been for the better, many of us have found that the interwebs have had a negative impact on our dating lives.

Gone are the days when you’d spend hours on the phone talking to your latest crush. We no longer have to speak to each other to share our life stories. Social networking sites and Google have made learning about your potential boo easier, but not as much fun. These days courting is done via text message, and those good morning/ good night calls that used to get you all giddy, are replaced by a tweet or Facebook poke.

To be clear, I have nothing against technology. I love it. But when it comes to matters of the heart, I’m a little old fashioned. So what’s a girl to do when she’s dating in the digital age, stalking is easier than ever, and a potential boo can uncover ALL of the skeletons in your closet before your second date?

Here are 5 tips to successfully navigate dating in noughties and beyond:

1) Have a Google Voice number: Yes, you have a cell phone number, so you may be wondering why you need another? One reason: Safety. I’ve seen women verbally harassed, and even assaulted, for refusing to give up the digits. So having a Google Voice number is not only smart, it’s also safe. If the whole, “I got a man” thing doesn’t knock down the confidence of a suitor, give him your Google Voice number and block it if/when he calls. Or better yet, assign him a permanent “busy” signal. Sure, it’s a little passive aggressive, but I’m all about safety first.

2a) DO NOT connect with a potential boo on social media: If you meet on the street, DO NOT connect via tweets (or any other social media outlet). In the beginning, dating is about mystery and getting to know each other through CONVERSATION. Sure, you can’t help if someone Googles you, but don’t give them access to your whole life before you’ve even had the chance to go out on a date. Allowing someone into your social media circle makes it even more difficult and awkward to 1) vent about your dates (isn’t this the fun part?), and 2) stop seeing each other. If you don’t connect in the first place, disconnecting is THAT much easier.

2b). Watch your mouth: If you meet your boo digitally you’ll have to be smart about what you say online. When things are great we have a tendency to share how happy we are and just how wonderful our boo is, but when ish goes wrong…well, you’ve seen enough “F*ck that ____ ” tweets and Facebook statuses to see how quickly it can get ugly. If you and your potential are already digitally connected then you’ll have to keep a little to yourself, or become very proficient in the art of subtweeting. Assign your boo a nickname and NEVER, EVER let on who you’re really talking about.

3) Don’t tell him you blog: If you have a blog, especially a personal one, it’s not a good idea to share your digital space with a potential. Why? It’s your room to speak freely about whatever and whomever (which may include them) that you want. You can’t do that if you know your potential boo is lurking on your blog trying to interpret every word you say.

4) Don’t rely on texting, tweeting, or Facebook: If the only way you talk to your boo is by texting or tweeting him, you’re not in a real relationship. Period. While there’s nothing wrong with sending quick hellos and flirty messages via text, at the end of the day, you need to talk to each other to make a relationship work. Communication is key. And having conversations digitally is one way to become disconnected from your partner and leave the door open for someone else to fill in the gaps.

5) Keep it light and don’t over think it: Sometimes we get so caught up in what could happen, what might happen, if we’d “work” as a couple that sometimes you forget it’s really just dinner, or a walk in the park, or a trip to the museum. It’s easy to get all up in your feelings–especially in the beginning–but pump your breaks and keep it light. Even if you’re deep, deep into liking someone, don’t limit your options to just that person until you both have a) discussed exclusivity, and b) have BOTH agreed to be each other’s steady.

Dating can be tough, but the beauty of being single is having the freedom to see whomever you want, do whatever you want (responsibly), and enjoy yourself while you do it. Live it up, because if you’re enjoying your life, you’re more inclined to attract someone who enjoys theirs as well.

From Clutch–Pregnancy hasn’t stopped King Bey from grinding. Since revealing she’s expecting, Beyoncé’s launched another fragrance, has promoted her fashion line, and has put the finishing touches on the video for “Countdown,” the forth single from her album, 4.

Fall is upon us, and as Vixens venture off to college campuses across the country, many of them have one goal in mind: They want to pledge.

Every year, sororities and fraternities attract eager co-eds looking to become apart of the rich histories, prestige, and vast social networks of Greek Letter Organizations. Despite what some many think, Greek organizations are living, breathing groups that do more than step and throw some of the best parties on campus.

Following in the footsteps of their founders, most Greek organizations serve their communities, lobby for political change and raise much-needed funds to send students to school. If anyone questioned the commitment of Greek orgs to making things happen they can focus their attention on the new Martin Luther King Jr. monument in Washington D.C. Bolstered by the continued support and fundraising efforts of the brothers of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated, the new memorial is the first monument to an African-American (and non U.S. president) on the national mall.

While Greek Letter Organizations aren’t perfect—some plagued by disturbing hazing allegations—many young women dream of being apart of the sisterhood. So before you hit the yard, Vixens, check out these tips to find and join the best Greek organization for you.

-Britni Danielle

Step #1- Decided What Council to Join: Like ice cream, Greek organizations come in all flavors. From business sororities, to those that historically cater to multicultural aims, picking the right org comes down to what fits your best. Greek councils govern all organizations, so for historically Black organizations check out the NPHC; for Latina sororities research the NALFO, and for all others check out your university’s PanHellenic Council.

Step #- 2 Do Your Research: Once you decide on the type of org you want, it’s time to do some research. Within the NPHC, for example, there are four sororities—Alpha Kappa Alpha, Delta Sigma Theta, Zeta Phi Beta, and Sigma Gamma Rho. Perhaps you are a legacy or know friends who are members, or maybe you know nothing at all. Either way, finding out as much about the organization before you attempt to join is KEY.

Step #3 – Meet-n-Greet: Even if you think you know which org you want to be a part of, meet the members of EVERY organization anyway. Attend informationals, kick it nights, and chapter-sponsored events to see how they interact with each other and non-Greeks. Many times, the stereotypes about organization are just that. The members of the chapter will dictate not only if you’ll be able to join, but how much you’ll enjoy your undergraduate experience. If you’ve always wanted to be a member of a certain sorority, but hate the members on your campus, you might want to rethink your choice. Give all organization a look, and then decide where you think you might best fit in.

Step #4 – Get Involved: Once you have narrowed down your choices to one or two sororities, get involved. Sororities on your campus will most likely have monthly or weekly community service projects, so sign up and get to work. One of the best ways to learn more about the organization, its members, and they work they do is to participate. Also, getting involved in community service projects with the organization not only gives back to others, but it allows the chapter members to see you in action.

Step #5 – State Your Interest: After you’ve done your research, gotten to know the members of the chapter and participated in community service, the last step to attempting to join is to clearly state your interest. If you’re invited to a private informational meeting or tea—go. If a chapter member asks where your interests lie, be clear and tell them. When trying to join an organization, there is no need to be shy or beat around the bush. Be clear about your intentions, be sincere about your reasons, and go for what you want. In the end, you just might get it.

Joining a sorority can be a little daunting, but as long as you do your research, get to know the members of the sorority, state your interest and give and command respect you’ll be just fine. Who knows, by following a few simple steps, maybe this time next year you’ll be sporting your fierce crossing jacket and gearing up to set out your first step show. 

As the world becomes more technologically advanced, it has also become smaller and smaller. And although sites like Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn make it easier for us to keep up with our friends and make new ones, they can also quickly spell disaster if you get a little reckless.

Increasingly employers, schools, landlords, and potential boos check social networks to see exactly who you are when you think no one is looking. So just like you wouldn’t dare leave your house looking a mess, don’t get caught looking crazy online either.

Because we love you, Vixens (and don’t want you to get “Anthony Weiner’d”), here are five steps for getting your tweet on without embarrassing yourself.

1)     Know Your Goal: Ask yourself; are you on Twitter representing yourself, your company, or your job? If you’re running your own business, or tweeting for your job, have separate accounts. The last thing you want to do is talk about getting drunk and being too hung over to go to work when the bosses are watching.

2)     Bury the Dead Bodies: What happens online, does not stay online. So before you fire off that suggestive sext or Amber Rose-esque ass shot, think long and hard. Although the receiver may ensure you it’ll just stay with him, assume it won’t. If you’re ok with seeing your naked photos or suggestive tweets surface online, then cool, proceed. But if you think you might want to be somebody one day, keep all of your skeletons locked safely away in the closet.

3)     Guard Your Personal Life: There is absolutely no reason to give out your phone number or address on Twitter. It seems like common sense, but I’ve seen plenty of profiles that include the person’s cell phone number. Don’t do it. You not only open yourself up to be harassed offline, but you could possibly be opening the door to being a crime victim. If you connect with someone interesting on Twitter and you want to exchange info, great, but do so privately, not on your public timeline.

4)     Don’t Use Twitter As a Therapist: Oversharing is easy online, but you shouldn’t put all of your business out in the tweets. Sure, everyone feels a little emo at times, but constantly wondering why you’re single, or venting about your man, or talking about how lonely you are is…well…depressing. Instead of using Twitter as your freebie therapist, see a real one. Nobody wants a Debbie Downer in their timeline.

5)     Be Discrete: If you’re into someone you meet online, take it to the DMs. While there is absolutely nothing wrong crushing on a Twitter cutie, don’t play yourself and try to approach him or her out in the open. If you want to get to know someone you’ve met on Twitter, keep your interest out of your timeline, and drop them a direct message or email telling them what’s up. That way if he isn’t interested (or already has a boo), you don’t have to suffer the public awkwardness of having your rejection retweeted by all of his followers (and yours).

Social networks are massive, but using them has shrunken our world down to size. Although you can meet many wonderful people, grow your business or find a mate using social networking, you can also ruin your life.  Vixens, think before you tweet! It’ll save you a whole lot of headaches and heartaches in the long run.

-Britni Danielle