You’d think the cure would be so simple. A wise woman prescribed me the guts to just say something to him, but I never took those pills. Because somewhere buried behind more recent memories, I’ve been programmed to believe wholeheartedly that it is, in fact, a man’s responsibility to take the first step. Initialize interaction. And so I, very stubbornly, remain ill. The main discrepancy with this pre-conceived notion I carry is that no one ever taught me it was to be this way. I can’t recall ever having heard my mother or grandmother say explicitly, “You must wait for a man to approach you.” Still, I hold fast to this idea and wait patiently, though possibly in vain.

We’ve exchanged eye contact in passing on more than one occasion. Perhaps I smiled and said, “Hello.” Who knows? But as far as I can guess, he doesn’t even know my name, or where I’m in a rush to every other morning when I walk by juggling my Starbucks and smartphone. I’ve never told him. He’s never asked. And it’s possible that he doesn’t care at all. Or maybe he cares a lot, because his eyes always meet mine when I look back over my shoulder. And this guessing game could all be avoided by me simply speaking up and introducing myself. But I won’t do it. Dare I admit I’m afraid? Naw, I won’t say that. I’ll just say I now have more respect for guys who approach girls fearlessly (though I feel it’s a skill somehow coded in their DNA …). It’s not an easy thing to do.

What’s even more ironic is that I don’t support most of the other widely accepted notions regarding gender roles in dating. I don’t believe a man always has to pick up the tab, nor would I throw a fit if my door wasn’t opened and chair pulled out for me every time. No biggie. I’m cool with dressing down (sneakers, puh-lease!), and I don’t mind hitting a bar to watch the game. I don’t even like sports! But these are things on which we can compromise. Taking the first step to get to know each other? I don’t think I can compromise on that.

Is it still taboo for a woman to make the first move? In this day and age, almost anything goes. Considering the ratio of single black women to available, single, black [straight, *coughs again*] men, many would say: “You betta go for yours!” But desperation was never a language I comprehended, let alone spoke fluently. And something about a woman having to assert her presence to a man just always seemed a bit unnecessary to me. Is the odds being against us reason enough for women to let traditions in courting fly? I mean, it’s bad enough that text messaging is now being treated as an acceptable substitute for the age-old telephone conversation. Where does one draw the line?

But then again, I look at the situation from that same wise woman’s perspective. After all, what do I truly have to lose but a couple inviting words and perhaps a pinch of pride? Surely enough, that’s my main deterrent. On the off-chance that my greeting goes over well, there is potentially so much to be gained — a door now unlocked and open for conversation to flow freely from both ends. I guess I just wonder if my having broken the ice will forfeit said “crush” of accountability. I’ll be damned if introducing myself first means I’ll have to plan all outings and call first from here on out. I’m not sure how that all works. I don’t think I’ll be finding out anytime soon, either, because yet another day has passed without a single word murmured. *sighs* I’ll take the plunge one of these days ….

Have you ever broken the ice or asked a guy out first? How did it go? If not, would you?

Disclaimer: Everything is not for everybody, and we can not guarantee that each product listed will yield the best results for you. Try things out at your own risk, and see what works.

What are some of your strange beauty remedies?

1. Aspirin – Many people swear by aspirin masks as a means of achieving soft, supple, and even-toned skin. Aspirin contains Beta Hydroxy Acids, which are actually found in many luxury skincare products, and work to exfoliate, remove dead skin cells, and heal blemishes. Gradually, these BHA’s can improve skin clarity, tone, and texture. A few tips: Uncoated, dissolvable tablets must be used for the mask. Many people opt to add a bit of honey or essential oil to the mixture to soothe. The mask should only be used once or twice a week max – don’t over do it. And of course – do not try this if you’re allergic to aspirin, silly!

2. Chafing Cream – Did you know that anti-chafing products such as Monistat Soothing Care Chafing Relief Powder Gel (Sheesh – that name is long) and Lanacane can actually double as foundation primer? Use a small amount all over your face, after moisturizer, to prep the skin for smooth, long-lasting foundation application.

3. Milk of Magnesia – If you struggle with extremely oily skin and nothing else seems to beat the shine, try Milk of Magnesia! This laxative liquid doubles as an extreme mattifier, and can either be mixed in with moisturizer, or applied with a cotton round all over the face right before makeup application. Tip: A few drops will go a long way with this product. If you use too much at once, the liquid can leave a dry, whitish residue on the skin. Also, be sure to use the original formula – veer away from any flavored or scented variations.

4. Lemon Juice – I’ll never forget the year I asked my mom why I, as a brown skin girl, had darker knees and elbows than my, well, non-brown peers. My 3rd grade mind was so perplexed, and it just didn’t seem fair. The next morning, as I was getting ready for school, she brought in a bottle of lemon juice and bag of cotton balls: “Here, put the juice on a cotton ball, and rub it on your elbows and knees every day before you do your lotion.” From that point on, I was a lemon-juicing fool, ok?! A few days later, when my bottle prematurely ran out (I clearly OD’d), I took to the refrigerator. Bingo! Found a lemon, bust that thang open, and got to rubbing. Needless to say – my knees and elbows were shining that summer. The darkness had faded significantly, and they were much smoother. I also had some toned biceps from swinging off bugs and bees attracted to the strong tangy scent, but whatevs.

5. Fabric Softener Dryer Sheets – Struggling with unruly hair static? Simply rub a dryer sheet through your strands to tame the frizz. Or, if you’ve just returned from a long night at the club or bar – only to discover that your hair reeks of smoke (Egchk!) – throw a sheet in your bonnet or pillowcase as you sleep to neutralize and absorb the unpleasant odor.

6. Toilet Seat Covers – This might sound a bit unsanitary, but I heard it from a celebrity makeup artist and owner of a major cosmetics company: Toilet seat covers [unused, of course!] double as awesome blot paper for oily skin! Granted, public restrooms tend to be a bit sketch in general. But, if you happen to find an extra clean one, thumb through the back of the bin and tear off a piece. I betcha it’ll seep that shine right on up!                  

7 & 8. Toothpaste & Neosporin – When dealing with unexpected breakouts, both of these medicine cabinet staples can double as quick and easy spot treatments. Use toothpaste overnight on untouched pimples to dry out the bacteria. If you couldn’t resist messing with the blemish, try Neosporin instead to aid in healing and prevent the formation of dark scars.

- Chelsea Smith

It started with a simple question from a stranger walking by on the streets: “Hey, where’d you get your boots?!” The answer was simple, and I was actually quite proud. “Oh, hey. These things?! They were from Target – would you believe?!” I kept walking. She followed.

“Target?! No way! Which line are they?” I had to think for a moment. “Ummm… They’re by Dolce Vita. Yea, when they did that little capsule collection.” I kept walking. She followed.

“Oh, wow! I love Dolce Vita. How much?!” Alright, lady. This was starting to get outta hand. But again, I was flattered and quite proud of the bargain I’d snatched. “They were on sale when I got ‘em – $6 bucks! Hel-lo!” My face shone with bliss. I love a good deal. I kept walking. Her ass followed. Now, I was beginning to get annoyed…

“No way! Which location?!” Are you kidding me? “You know, I was in another state when I bought ‘em. Georgia, actually. Atlanta.” Still walking. Still being followed.

“Hmmm, how recently?! I wonder if the one by my apartment in Brooklyn has ‘em.” Finally – a chance to shut her down! “This was over a year ago. Check online, they may be floating around on eBay. Have a great day!” Whew. That was intense. *wipes single sweat bullet from forehead* *dusts off boots from walking two extra blocks with crazy stranger*

See, I’ve never had a problem telling someone where I got something when it comes to clothes and shoes. Chances are, if they want it badly enough, they’ll find it sooner or later anyway. Half the time, I’ve had the item for years, or it’s a piece that was handed down from my grandmother (we love our jewels!). So why be shady about it, ya know? Share the wealth. But, at what point does an inquiring mind go a little bit too far? I’ve seen in happen before. A year ago at work, a coworker received rave reviews about a particular pair of boots, but she refused to tell anyone where she got them. One loose-lipped Lindsay slipped up and told everyone they were from Tar-Jay. The next week, three other girls were wearing them. The horror! I snicker everytime, thinking about her face when unknowing colleagues would comment to the original boot owner “Hey, you have the same boots as [insert new boot owner here].” Tehehehehe!

Personally, I wouldn’t dare ask someone the exact location, store hours, price, tax, and method of payment of an item they were wearing. I don’t know what they went through to acquire that piece. This may have been their prized wardrobe staple, for all I know. But hey, that’s just me. What if it was a vintage find that they spent four hours in the sun at the weekend flea market digging through brown cardboard boxes to find?! The nerve it would be of me to ask which vendor so I could hit them up next Saturday, bright and early. That’s just too much.

My coworker laughed as I replayed the scene from earlier, because at this point I had barely made it in with moments to spare. Her advice was raw and proud: “Girl, I would’ve lied. You think I don’t be sending chicks to Bakers down the street in search of some shoes I got on sale at Bloomies 3 years ago?! Ha.” I laughed, but her tactics seemed to me even more petty than those of the girl eager to cop my $6 boots. I was over it at that point. I walked away. My boot buckles just a jingling with each step.

Do you share your shopping hot-spots and secret finds? Even better, have you ever lied to someone about where you purchased something? Spill it.

- Chelsea Smith

At first glance, some may see the purse as a simple accessory; one of those girly things that we just have, just ’cause. Others view it as a bag of bricks, so to speak, weighty and overflowing with too much of everything; far more than what any one person should require on any one day. Or so they say. Surely men would consider it the “black hole”, for many an item that once fell down into its cracks never saw the light of day again – and that I can’t deny. But it’s so much more than all of these things combined, you see. It’s my home away from home, and within each of its rooms can be found the building blocks of my daily living.

It’s My Office:

I’m never without the tools needed to get my work done, even when on the go. My smartphone keeps me connected via web, email, and apps, and my back-up charger ensures that I’m always juiced up! A superhero should never utter the words: “I’ve only got one bar left!” Things happen, sure, but when gadgets fade to black, there’s no telling what monumental occurrences can be missed. When plans of action need to be mapped out more extensively, my bag holds my notepad, favorite pen, and highlighter for emphasis. And when meeting new people on the fly, and making connections that could lead to possible ventures, it stores my cards. Don’t ever forget your cards – they leave a lasting impression.

It’s My Vanity:

Sometimes you have to run out the house in a flash, but please believe my bag holds the items necessary to put my best face forward! No need to pack my entire makeup kit – simply the essentials. Pressed powder, mascara, lipstick and a gloss, perhaps a neutral shadow palette. To match the look, a scent is key. My atomizer has just enough fruity-floral spritzes to awaken the senses. And don’t forget about the hand cream! One cannot save the day with an ashy patch between the thumb and pointer finger. No. Dice.

It’s My Vending Machine:

Going, going, going – sometimes you just can’t stop. But you have to give your body the fuel it needs to get the job done. With that in mind, I keep a light snack and drink at arm’s reach. Bottle of water (or VitaminWater “XXX” – yum!), granola bar, piece of fresh fruit… When I’ve had the opportunity to actually sit down and enjoy a meal, it’s never without gum or mints; nobody needs to know that you like extra onions on your turkey burger. Fail.

It’s My First-Aid Kit:

No, I’m not a doctor, but my bag of tricks has my health in mind. Wet wipes and hand sanitizer are a must with all the touching that goes down in the city: dirty money (no Diddy), poles on the subway train, door knobs – can you imagine!? Then, when I feel a slight sniffle coming on, it has my Kleenex, and even better – packets of Emergen-C to ward off whatever’s in the air. You can’t save the day with a cold, and of all the super powers I have, calling-out is not one that I like to use. *A-choo!*

It’s My ATM:

Cash. Credit. Debit. A little bit of each – just in case. I also keep my good ‘ol rewards card on standby. Those Starbucks, Walgreens, and DSW points add up – you know! Be sure to always have an emergency card stashed deep down within the bag of tricks, as well. NO, a caramel frappuccino does not count as an emergency (not most days, at least. There are always exceptions to the rule). But say your Wolford tights catch a snag on the way to a major networking event? You should always have the means to make a quick stop on the go. H&M, anyone?!

It’s My Walk-In Closet:

I’m almost always able to transform my look throughout the day, because my bag is a mini-wardrobe. When my door-knocker hoops aren’t appropriate for the dinner I just got invited to, my Kate Spade studs are tucked away in the wallet. When I leave out knowing that these 5 inch heels are only gonna be good for about 5 (ok, maybe 3) hours, flats are on standby. And when the sun decides to shine it’s gorgeous rays directly into my pupils? Or even better, when I wanna hide from creepy men on the streets? Sunglasses on deck, shawty. Won’t catch me slippin’.

It’s My Entertainment:

A wait is never an issue when I’m with my bag of tricks, because it always has the tools necessary to keep me entertained. Most days, I can barely stand to take my headphones out of my ears, because my iPod knows my heart! That shady little gadget, I tell ya. Even when on shuffle, it knows all the right songs to play at all the right times. When I’m in need of inspiration, or simply want to have a quick read, a book or magazine is there at my fingertips. Once I get to flapping pages over, there’s no stopping.

And so you see, my purse is so much more than a weighty piece of luggage that I tote around for mere looks. If I were an artist, I would call it my palette, for it holds all the “colors” that allow me to paint the perfect picture on life’s daily canvas. Let’s see what today brings!

What’s in Your Bag of Tricks???

- Chelsea Smith

Here are a 5 fashionable items that are heating up the city streets these days!

1. All Sheer Everything
If you can’t go nude, why not allude? (Y’all can’t even lie – that was mad catchy, no!? lol) Sheer garments are about the closest we’re gonna get to wearing our bikinis out in public. Unless, of course, you’re in a city like Miami where you can actually get away with that if you choose. No comment. Whether it’s a flowy blouse or maxi skirt, let the air in and all inhibitions out. Show some skin, why dontcha? Just a peek.

- Kimchi Blue, “V-Inset Crinkle Blouse”, $59

- ASOS, Sheer Maxi Skirt with Pleats, $75

- Forever21, Sheer Shirtdress w/ Belt, $20

2. Neon Crossbody Bags
There really isn’t much need to be lugging around oversized, bulky, handbags in this heat. Unless, of course, you plan on bringing tupperware to the cookout, if ya know what I mean (grocery shopping is overrated, anyhow, *wink wink*). Crossbody bags allow you to pack light and keep your hands free to juggle that third plate of potato salad and second glass of sangria. This summer, we’re seeing them in all highlighter neon colors. Talk about a statement accessory!

- Rebecca Minkoff, “Neon Mini 5-Zip”, $195

- The Cambridge Satchel Company, “Fluoro Satchel”, $155

- Marc Jacobs, “Natasha” Shoulder Bag, $438

3. DIY Denim Shorts
Whether you decide to buy ‘em or make ‘em, Do-It-Yourself short shorts have claimed their spot on the summer scene. Studs, frays, and rips, oh my! Bleach, flaps, and even dip-dye. To save a few dollars, try hitting up your local Salvation Army and buying a pair of old Levi’s. The possibilities are endless with a pair of scissors, hot glue gun, and other random household trinkets.

- UNIF, “Stunna Studded Shorts”, $84

- River Island, “Studded Denim Hotpants”, $58

- TopShop, “Petite Flag Print Denim Shorts”, $68

4. Mini-Maxi Skirts
I really didn’t know how to feel about this trend at first. Honestly, the first time I saw a girl rocking a hi-low hem skirt I thought something had gone awry! Escalators get tricky sometimes, ya know? But now, I’m all IN! The new wave of asymmetrical mini-maxi skirts is a great way to show off your legs but still leave something to the imagination. It’s also a great way to wear an actual skirt in the summertime without the backs of your thighs melting into overheated leather car seats or subway benches. See! Fashion that multitasks. You’re welcome.

- BCBGeneration, Asymmetrical Skirt, $68

- Tylie, “Chiffon High-Low Skirt”, $180

5. Bralettes (w/ High-Waisted Bottoms)
Although I wear them on a daily, I don’t too much care for bras; constricting. But in the summer, I don’t too much care for shirts, either; clingy. So, naturally, the happy medium would be a bra that can double as a shirt. The fewer the layers – the better. These cutesy bralettes, when paired with high waisted shorts or skirts give just a hint of mid-drift without you feeling subconscious about being a few (several) crunches away from that 6-pack you were working towards. This look can be dressed up with a lightweight blazer and pencil skirt, or all the way down with a plaid shirt around the waist and a pair of Jordans circa Rih-Rih at Coachella. Whatever suits your fancy. Just promise us that you’ll make sure the girls are properly supported and fully concealed, mmkay??? We’ve got a deal.

- Sparkle and Fade, “Lace Bralette”, $29

- TopShop, “Harness Microfiber Corset”, $60

- TopShop, “Denim Bra Top With Love Heart Patch”, $41

Summer is nearly here!

Don’t forget about revamping your makeup case, though. In the hot and humid summer months, there are a few products you’ll need to up the ante on, in order to preserve your pretty. Here’s a list of some of our go-to beauty products for the season…

Sunscreen – Kiehl’s Super Fluid UV Defense SPF 50, $35

With all the hours that will be spent at the pool, backyard barbecues, outdoor concerts, etc., it’s imperative to protect our skin from the sun’s harmful UV rays. This Kiehl’s sunblock isn’t your typical thick, white, stinky formula from childhood. In fact, it’s extremely lightweight, leaves no film or residue and is completely safe for sensitive and acne-prone skin types. Apply a light layer to face neck and chest after your moisturizer of choice.

Bronzer – CoverGirl Queen Collection Bronzer, $7

What better way to achieve a sunkissed look than by bronzing it up?! Covergirl Queen Collection bronzers come in a range of shades ideal for women of color. The mineral-enriched formula is good to the skin and combats oil throughout the day to give you warmth without shine (trust, there is a difference). Use on the temples and cheekbones as a contour powder to create depth, or sweep loosely all over the face to add color and warmth.

Waterproof Mascara – Lancome Hypnose Waterproof, $26

Whether you’re an avid swimmer or have naturally oily lids, waterproof mascara is one of those tools you’ll wanna have in your summer makeup stash. This classic formula by Lancome provides buildable volume that gives the lashes intensity from root to tip. The waterproof quality allows for hours of wear without smudging, clumping, or flaking, while Vitamin B5 wraps and seals each individual lash to protect the hair. 

Cream Shadows – Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Cream Shadow, $24

Summer makeup is all about what’s quick, easy, radiant, and stays put! So, when it comes to eye makeup, cream shadows are the way to go. Bobbi Brown’s formula has always had rave reviews for it’s velvety texture, long-wearing power, and resistance to creasing and smudging. Available in a wide array of shades, these can be applied with fingers or a brush to add a smooth layer of color to the lid.

Illuminating Lotion – Jergens Soft Shimmer Skin Radiance Moisturizer, $4

Don’t forget to pamper the body! This cult favorite by Jergens has been discontinued, but is still widely available online. The lightweight formula is extremely moisturizing and enhances the skin’s natural radiance. The subtle golden shimmer reflects light to blur out any skin imperfections and leave legs, arms, and chest looking flawless and luminous. Grab a couple tubes on Amazon while they’re still available!

A New Scent! - BLVGARI Omnia Coral, prices vary

When I think of how the summer can be translated in to a scent, fresh, fruity, florals come to mind. If that’s the type of fragrance you’re into, you’ll probably love Bulgari’s latest – Omnia Coral. Notes like bergamot, hibiscus, pomegranate, and wolfberry radiate in this juicy spin-off of the original Omnia collection. It’s light, but fun and full of life. Give it a try next time you’re at the fragrance counter!

To give you an idea of the types of savings this could mean for you, consider this: Haircuts from as low as $10, Flat Iron or Rollerset styles from as low as $15, Highlights and Relaxers starting at $20, and Full Color with highlights starting at $25. Cha-chinggg!—your wallet will love you!

Here are a few tips on making the most out of your beauty school salon visit:

• Allow More Time Than Usual: While the students know what they’re doing, they may need to consult their professor throughout the duration of the service to ensure that they are utilizing the best techniques. This may mean breaks and impromptu demonstrations on your hair. Allow yourself about double the time you’d normally spend at your go-to stylist, just to be sure. You may not be there for three hours after all, but a little wiggle room never hurts.

• Read Reviews: Keep in mind that every location under a franchise is not created equal. If you’re interested in visiting an Aveda school, for instance, use sites like Yelp to read feedback on the branch nearest you. See which student stylists have received rave reviews. Commenters will also usually mention what type of hair they have so that you can find someone who is able to style your specific texture or length.

• Do a Test Run: Don’t come to the salon the first time expecting to get a 5-star cut, color, and hi-lights all in the same session. Sure, it’s very feasible, but can also be disastrous if you select the wrong stylist. Start off with a simple wash and set or cut, just to get a vibe for the school and the level of service provided. If it’s a good experience, have images ready to consult with your stylist on the more drastic look that you’ll be coming back to achieve!

It wouldn’t work. And I’m not sure what more it would take, but after recently witnessing a woman break down into tears after looking at herself in a mirror, I knew there was something terribly wrong. Something deserving of further investigation.

I sat behind the counter at work that day, nearly in tears myself. A heart heavy knowing that no amount of positivity and bestowed compliments would change the fact that that woman could barely stand the sight of her own reflection. I thought it over until my head hurt—why do we object ourselves to such scrutiny? And after going back and forth in my own mind, I faced a harsh reality: I’d been no better. Me. Chelsea. The same one who’d been the mascot for self-love, confidence, and appreciation of our physical being without question just a couple hours prior. Nope, I’d been no better. Because as far back as I could remember, I, too, beat myself up internally and blamed the world for my seemingly misfortunate features.

I blamed my Mother, the picture of perfection she was during my younger years, for being everything I was not. Light. Short. A hair filled with curly long locks. I couldn’t understand how she, my grandmother, and most of my cousins and aunts had the look—light skin, long hair. And I just had to be different, the oddball. “Why me?” I’d wonder silently.

I blamed my Father, not only for being a pitiful individual, but for tainting my being with these awkward physical realities. Darker skin (avoided the sun like a plague). Coarser hair (relaxers from elementary school, on). The height of a damn basketball player! Ohhhhhh, that wicked height. My mom is 5′ 2″ you see, so only he could be blamed for my always being the tallest one in the class photo. 5’9″ by the time I reached 8th grade. Size 10 feet. I cursed his unspoken name when I had to go out of my way to find fashionable shoes for a teenage girl hard-pressed on following “the trends.” And when I had to pay more for my Jordan’s because I couldn’t fit the same cute kiddie sizes that my friends wore, please believe I gave him hell.

I blamed adolescence for acne and braces—at the same time. And I wasn’t quite sure who to blame for my needing glasses, but please believe they were deserving of my discontent, too.

I blamed my best friends for having video-vixen statures in middle school while I could barely fill out a bra. One was a D-cup even in sixth grade, and got all the guys’ attention. The other was a track superstar, and, thus, stacked like a stallion. The only girl in the whole school with a booty like J-Lo, or so it seemed back then. When she walked by, time would stop for just a few seconds. Oh, yes, the fellas loved her too! My flimsy frame couldn’t compare.

I blamed makeup for giving me a false sense of beauty and femininity throughout high school. No, I didn’t wear foundation. But eyeshadow, liner, blush, and lipgloss, all became addictions. Fun, playful, and harmless to the untamed eye. But there soon reached a point at which I couldn’t leave the house fresh-faced because I’d forgotten that I was pretty without all the extra fixings. Late to class, sitting in the car, applying that third coat of mascara. It was my “thing” and I couldn’t have a day off.

I blamed college for blessing me with ten extra pounds each year. Thirty to date. Something about being free to come and go and eat and hang out and stay up as you damn well please begets bad habits. And, yes, they became my own. But when I transferred schools and moved to Atlanta, I blamed Georgia for having me feel that I wasn’t thick enough. The figures of my modelesque friends back home couldn’t even begin to compare to the shapes of these southern gals. Nope, no amount of squats and lunges could give you the hips and backside of someone who’s been fed pork chops, macaroni and cheese, and cornbread since childhood. Or even someone who’s had a couple shots (if you know what I mean) here and there; yes, those have nearly become the norm too.

I blame a whole bunch of people for a whole bunch of other things I have yet to come to terms with regarding my appearance, but more than anything – I blame myself. For I, like the woman who wept in front of the mirror, am to blame for how I have handled that over which I have no control. And even more at fault for measuring my own worth against someone else’s natural standard; I’d always be an imperfect version of them, but couldn’t see that I was a flawless version of myself. I was too young to understand that my complexion was the most gorgeous shade of brown that God had ever blended—because he created it just for me. And, even so, these days I love me a good summer tan—the browner, the better. I was too stubborn to know that my height was a blessing—something that made me stand out in a crowd—striking. Plus, it automatically eliminated all the short, good-for-nothing guys who’s attention I thought I needed at the time. And I was too damn dumb to realize that I wore a size 10 so that I could always have access to the good shoes that all the 7.5-8s had to fight for at the department stores. Duh! How could it not be obvious? *Sighs*

I’ve learned from self-evaluation and retrospect that we will all face physical insecurities at one point or another. But you either love it, deal with it, fix it, or die inside from irrational feelings of inadequacy—take your pick. I choose to be proud of those subtleties that set me apart from the next woman, and I encourage you all to do the same. Love yourself as a work-in-progress, for you will only become more gorgeous from adopting a positive self-image. And let’s uplift one another, too. Instead of being mad because the next chick has a badder body than your own—complement her and ask what kind of workouts she does. Like someone’s hair? Tell her so, and just maybe she’ll slip you her stylist’s card. You never know, the very thing you commend her on may be the single thing making her feel not so up to par that day. Be a blessing to someone else . . .

Please feel free to share any flaws that you’ve learned to love about yourself, and how you reached that point!

- Chelsea Smith

Here’s a few reasons why women should opt for sneakers more often:

Comfort

Between all the heels, platforms, arches, etc., our poor feet get tired. Whether or not you’re comfortable sporting stilettos on a daily basis, everyday wear can actually have long-term impacts on your body. Lower back pains, posture problems, and nerve damage, for example, are all common complaints of long-time heel fanatics. With the right sneaker, such worries are eliminated. Your body is supported by a flat, cushioned, and comfy shoe that allows for relaxation and ease-of-wear.

Practicality

With a pair of killer sneakers, you can get the job (whatever the “job” may be) done! There are no worries of your instep being strained or your baby-toe crying out for dear help. No need for bandaging the back of your heels, or inserting additional gel insoles for comfort. No desperately hoping that you remembered your flats, and making sure that the back-up pair coordinates with your outfit just as much as the original pair. You don’t think twice when the task at hand calls for being on your feet for extensive periods of time, or while walking long distances. And, if by chance something pops off somewhere out there in the world, you’re fully equipped to make a mad dash—pronto!

Confidence

It’s already expected that we’ll be sexy and girly in high heels—too easy. But wearing sneakers requires an extra air of confidence and assuredness in oneself that only certain women possess. They say that you’re down-to-earth, don’t take yourself too seriously, and are ready for whatever is being thrown at you! All great traits to have. And though they may require a bit more effort to make the look feminine and appropriate for the occasion, sneakers allow you to break free from the typical feminine standard, let go, and live a little.

Style

No longer are tennis shoes actually designed for the sole purpose of athletics—they’re just as much a fashion statement as your ballerina flat, slouch boot, or stiletto. Sneakers come in every shape, style, material, color, and price point under the rainbow—so your wardrobe options are unlimited. Sporty girls may opt for the functional Air Max 95, while minimalist chicks may prefer the classic Chuck Taylor Low. Trendy gals may pick up the latest colorful pair of Nike Blazers, and label-loving fashion enthusiasts may save up for a pair of Louboutin studded high tops. Whatever your personal style may be, there’s a sneaker (or two, or three) to complete the look!