Vixen Vent: Solo vs Jay. Who Do You Back—Bestie or Bae?

Posted by on May 13, 2014

Jay Z Beyonce Solange

I can’t lie, when I first caught wind of the now CNN-worthy melee involving the Knowles-Carter trio, I couldn’t keep my cursor away from the replay button. The shock value of Solange “allegedly” hurling her limber limbs at a cornered Jay Z unravelled the fabric of everyone’s work day (I can still hear the animated oohs and ahhs of co-workers watching the Worldstar-esque moment).

Sure, the baffling scenario—which occurred on the evening of the annual Met Ball—spawned a helping of jokes that could dethrone Drake, the Meme King, himself, but the takeaway talking point of the fiasco intrigued me. It wasn’t the fact that Solange was showing her trill side that the public has never been privy to. Beyonce’s unfortunate middleman position and nearly undetectable presence in the elevator was what became the fodder of anyone with access to an LCD screen.

When Streetfighter-like punches whizzed past her primped and perfected face in the direction of her husband of six years, what we saw was the loudest non-reaction imaginable. Not a flinch came from the Queen Bey. Not a rotation, not a shield, no nothing. For once, Beyonce did little to cause any buzz, and it’s what caused the internet to explode anyway. “Here goes Beyonce being a robot.” “What kind of wife is she? A horrible one.” “How could you not defend your man??” A whole lot of white noise from self-appointed pop culture commentators.

I find it irritating that the most pressing issue at hand for people was her dropping domestic duties as someone else’s partner. What about the sister (or even the sister-like friend) that came first? Why is it an acceptable concept for a woman to instantly side with her man at the first sign of a squabble before figuring out what upset her sister? Is the sister bond that disposable to people nowadays?

Solange was there before Beyonce even knew what a Jay Z was. Or a Mrs. Carter. The term “bros before hoes” (when not being used as disrespectfully as it sounds) is supposed to emphasize that certain bonds shouldn’t be shelved because a little good sex and cuddling comes your way. The same goes for gals. If I were in Beyonce’s shoes, I wouldn’t throw away a lifetime of sisterhood to jump in front of my man. The biggest piece of this puzzle will never be solved since there is no audio component to the controversial flick. We may never know what was said before or during the heated moment. Hell, we can’t even see faces clearly. What if Beyonce was trying to rectify the situation from the outskirts by using her words? According to a recent theory conjured up by Wendy Williams, Beyonce could have known Jay was in the wrong and Solange was only lashing out in defense of her big sis.

There are so many questions that should have come before blaming Beyonce for not holding Solange back: What did Jay Z say or do to upset Solo? Does this happen often? Was anyone seriously injured? How did Bey calm Solo down on the limo ride home? Or how was Bey was able to plaster a Barbie smile on her face as if World War III didn’t just happen in a 27 square foot space?

We as women need to reevaluate our relationships with each other before factoring in a necessity to “stick by our men.” Is a friendship or sisterhood worth being bumped to second place because your boo feels the heat of an argument? Or were you a real friend in the first place? —Stacy-Ann Ellis

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