Molly, it seems, is the Girl of the Moment. From grown-up-former-teeny-bop-pop stars to women’s studies PhD candidates, everyone’s talking about “her”: it’s lauded in some corners for its sensation-heightening powers, and vilified in others for its association with date rape. But, beneath both the endorsements and the controversy lie two issues that are largely ignored: the definition of date rape and the organic nature of female desire.
Do We Need Date Rape 101?
The Rick Ross’ dispute. The multitude of macho denials that Molly is used for anything that’s not on the sexual up-and-up. Justin Timberlake’s quarrel with seminal women’s advocacy organization Take Back the Night. As these instances of ignorance accumulate – in the media and in real life – it appears that many people of both sexes know too little about date rape and prevention. Here are the facts: 73% of sexual assaults on women were committed by a non-stranger, 38% of rapists are friends or acquaintances of their victims, and simply: no means NO. If an individual is unable to respond to sexual advances – intoxicated or not – that means “no”. In a romantic relationship, if one partner rebuffs the other’s sexual advances, that means no. Feeling a “vibe” from another person isn’t permission to proceed beyond that person’s comfort zone. When in doubt…just think “no”.
Stop Separating “Good Girls” from “Good Sex”
The Sexual Revolution (and its tacit acknowledgment of the depths of female desires) occurred nearly 50 years ago. So, the ideas that we need to take Molly to “get in the mood” or that only “bad” girls know how to enjoy sex are just…tired.
One of the hottest songs of the summer – Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines – unsuccessfully attempts to put a new spin on the antiquated Madonna/Whore (or “lady in the street/”freak in the bed”) complex. We obviously need to let the fellas know that our sensual impulses are as varied as theirs are – it’s just that “bad” girls are brave enough to talk openly about their amorous proclivities. It’s time for all of us to open the desire dialogue, take control of our sensuality and, instead of blurring lines, bring our sensuality into focus.
By: Sacha Phillip