Why Friends With Benefits is Ruining the Dating World

Posted by on Mar 20, 2013

The FWB

It’s no surprise that traditional dating rules are as ancient as Betty White. Sadly, more and more women can’t recall the last time a man told them to be ready for dinner by 8 or being surprised with a bouquet of roses at their doorstep. While some men still cater to our idealistic views of romance, more women are weathering the drought. Over a few glasses of wine, and complimentary man-bashing articles, diatribes are throwing men in the electric chair for poisoning our Cinderella dreams and stripping all faith in Mr. Prince Charming.

We claim to want a man who’s nurturing, tends to our emotional needs, spoils us and simply considers opening our doors. But when we can’t mold our prospects into that guy, crying wolf and casting blame on the ones that failed us soothes the pain. Sorry to pop your dream bubble, ladies, but some of you just don’t deserve him. Requirements of men must be complementary to our expectations. Succumbing to the late night “meet me here” texts and enrolling as someone’s “friend with benefit,” is not making you a worthy candidate of courtship, if that is what you are seeking. The story typically doesn’t end with a Justin Timberlake character arranging a romantic flash mob in the middle of Grand Central station to declare his undying love for you.

If you are a firm believer in courting, the friends with benefit contract should be ripped up immediately. According to studies, people only enter the FWB contract to establish a reliable noncommittal situation. They are simply afraid to develop feelings for the other person because the attraction may not be reciprocated. By becoming passionately involved we are scared to run the risk of either rejection or real romance.

As the proud owners of the “if he can do it, I can do it too” modern day mentality, we can’t fear the desire to want more in a relationship. If you happen to fall under the category of women who truly enjoy the easy breezy robotic sex life, do you. But if you are committed to ending old habits to revive your dating life, maybe it’s not helpful to sexually surrender after a $5 happy hour drink or host midnight meet ups. Just maybe you can enforce the “don’t call after 11″ rule and can bring back morals and demands.

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