When Do You Know You’re Ready?

Posted by on Oct 1, 2012

Man and Woman SexThere’s a guy you’re attracted to. He’s funny, sharp, well-groomed and (the best part) he’s seemingly into you. You can feel your attraction to him growing after only one conversation. Your body is reacting, giving you all the signals that you want to move things to the next step. Do you?

Most female friends I know would protest a strong “no,” saying that sex with a guy on the first night is a surefire way to demonstrate that you have no form of self-respect. But does it really mean you have no self-respect, or you don’t respect what society expects of women when meeting men?

I remember watching shows like Girlfriends where Joan Clayton (played by Tracee Ellis Ross) would not sleep with a guy she was dating until the three-month mark. Among my inner circle of girlfriends, there were similar proclamations: “I won’t have sex until after the third date” or “I have sex after a month.” While I can acknowledge their choices to reserve sex until a regimented period of time, I always wonder, what exactly are we looking for in this guy before we give up the goods?

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