I remember an older lady, about 65 years of age, admitted to me that she’s been married over 25 years and her husband has not seen her and will never see her without wig or weave. I was sure she could tell how shocked and surprised I was by the expression on my face, but she still simply told me, “I don’t feel beautiful without it.” After this statement, it kind of shook me a tad. The thought finding the man of my dreams, and then marrying him, and still not feeling comfortable in my own skin is scary. Even in regular relationships, we tend to be so caught up in trying to impress or keep the attention of the man, so we slowly begin to find more and more items to rely on in order to capture his attention.
Finding and feeling truly beautiful with every aspect of yourself is a life long journey. As we get older, more and more layers begin to un-peel until we find the core of ourselves. One way we continue to allow our self beauty to grow is by taking time to truly look in the mirror, and not just literally. Towards the end of the Kendrick Lamar’s song, the young lady’s dependency on make up was caused by an abusive relationship — a deep, powerful, and unfortunate truth for too many women. I’m not saying that each woman has as an extreme situation as that one. Similarly, low self-esteem can stem from something as seemingly small as being teased on the playground as an adolescent to always feeling like an outsider because of one’s look. So instead of facing the problem, and accepting every part of you, you decide to cover it up or ‘fix it.’ Having a variety of makeup, hairstyle choices, and clothes is perfectly fine as long as it’s by choice and is something that you do not ‘have’ to rock to feel comfortable in your own skin.
Do you have any beauty vices that you rely on? Sound Off!
- Ellisa Oyewo