I Lie…

Posted by on Jul 12, 2012

As a single woman who is relatively successful, I always get asked that dreaded question. You know the question I’m talking about, the “When are you getting married?” question. It never fails. I don’t care how much I’m able to achieve in my career and how high up the corporate ladder I climb, I always get asked that question. So, I lie …

I know you’re asking yourself what would a college-educated woman have to lie about, so please let me explain. I lie and say that I’m married to my career although I know that deep down inside I’m lonely. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love being single and all the freedom that it allows, but just once I would love to know what it feels like to be in love. I would love to feel that feeling of my heart racing when his ringtone chimes on my phone. I know it sounds childish, but honestly I long for that feeling. But because I don’t want to get my hopes up high only to be disappointed, I lie …

I’ve convinced myself that love doesn’t exist for me. I mean let’s be honest, who in their right mind would love me? The media and some black “authors” have done nothing but stoke my fears about there not being any brothers out there that are willing to love me. They basically told me that as a single, educated black woman I’m the least desired by anyone. So here I am lying to myself in order to convince myself that I can go through the world alone without love. I lie …

I can walk into a boardroom and command the room, but yet I dread facing my auntie at the family gatherings because I know she’s going to ask me that dreaded question; instantly making me feel less than. Now don’t get me wrong, I know my auntie isn’t asking to hurt my feelings. I believe she really and truly wants the best for me, and in her wanting the best she believes the best involves marriage and children. So instead of telling her how I’ve been praying to God to send me a man. A good man. An honest man. A funny man. A man that loves God and his mother. I lie …

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