What is your life like now being a new mommy?
It’s the same. Not as wild, of course, but it’s just…I think women were born with the gift of multitasking, so it’s just another ball to throw into the juggle pattern. It’s not like it’s difficult; it’s just something that you know that you have to take care of him and so you do it. You don’t really think about it being difficult or is this too much? It’s just another…
It’s just another thing on the to-do list.
Yeah, and you don’t even have to think about it. I have an amazing baby. He’s really chill, he rolls with the punches and he likes being on-the-go. I love that.
Before you became a mom, how was your lifestyle?
Wild. It was fun and scandalous, and I was working like crazy and partying even crazier. I had no limits. I could just go on and on forever. I wasn’t sleeping and I wasn’t eating right, just carelessness. You’re just pushing yourself beyond the limits because you’re young and you’re gonna live forever. You’re meeting new people and loving people and breaking hearts and all of that. I did all of that, and I did it to the max. That’s why I tell young girls, Live your life to the fullest. Don’t compromise on any life experiences. Do everything you can before you really settle down and become a mother because now I feel like I’m not missing anything. I still have friends who are single and going out and doing the thing that I’ve had the luxury of doing since college and I don’t miss it. I think if I would’ve had a baby before this time, I would feel like I was missing out on something, but now I got it all out of my system, so I’m able to really settle into this process and settle down. I was getting to the end of my road of being wild. It’s not that I’m not free-spirited; I’m still a free spirit in the way that I raise my baby and our daily routine and mind state. I’m just not a wild child anymore.
Before having your son, did you ever think you would settle how or as fast as you did?
I didn’t get the baby bug until maybe the year before he was born. I was down to just be free and on my own schedule forever. I would put my career before everything and I worked a lot. It’s definitely a transition, but it happens to all women unless you’re a cruel and heartless bitch. Everybody gets that baby bug itch. I remember in 2010 around the holidays, making a proclamation to my friends like, ‘I think in a year I’ll be ready for kids,’ and they all looked at me like I was crazy. Within a year, I had gotten pregnant.
You knew it was coming.
Yeah. And people were like, ‘Okay and where are you gonna get this baby from?’ ’cause I was in a relationship but we were going back and forth.
Are you still in the same relationship?
Yeah. It’s crazy because at the time that I said that, we were broken up. We found ourselves, got back together and within months, I was pregnant. We would’ve loved to do it the “right” way–marriage, building a life from that point–but things happen for a reason. You can’t really say which is the right or wrong way for us. You know we’re completely devoted to each other and devoted to our child and that’s what’s most important.
You don’t strike me as the person to do anything the classical way. What’s the love story between you two?
He’s in a band, and we were going to do a show together in New York City. I had never heard of his band before and he had never heard of my band before and here we are doing a show together. We just kinda like hit it off, not in a romantic way, we just started talking. I don’t know, something drew me to him. The whole night we talked and exchanged numbers, but I didn’t really feel the spark. Here’s this guy and we talked, no big deal. Like, he would hit me up all the time and I ran from it because we were recording our record for Warner Bros. I was just not in that space, trying to be in a relationship and trying to meet anybody, so I kinda ran from him for like nine months. I just wouldn’t answer his calls. Then, finally we went on a date and we started hanging out and we just really clicked, and it just kinda took off from there. Over the course of two years, we play that whole game and then finally it was just like, Okay this is really who I wanna be with.
Why were you so hesitant on settling? Did you not feel that you were at a certain place in your life?
Yeah. I mean nowadays, it’s so easy to look at others and measure your own success up to theirs. I really had to shake myself and just really look at everything I’ve accomplished. You know, I’ve toured with some of my idols: opening for Prince and Erykah Badu and the Roots. I was able to travel all around the world and play shows for people and sell records and do music the way that I wanted to do it. I really had to understand that success comes in all different forms and one is not more or less valid then the other. So when I stopped chasing this unrealistic view of success, then everything just came naturally. I really settled into who I was as an artist and as a successful business and career woman and then I got everything that I ever wanted.