There comes a time in life when you have to stop blaming your parents for what they did or didn’t do for your own mistakes. Although I grasped what he was saying, I found myself somewhat upset at what he said. At the same time, I was totally agreeing with him.
Still, we’ve all heard the alarming statistics of fathers who are absent from the home:
- 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.
- 90%of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.
- 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes.
- 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes.
- 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
- 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes.
- 85% of all youth in prison come from fatherless homes.
Despite the statistics, there are many children who grow up in two parent homes, become adults and make awful choices. While it is true that at some point you need to stop blaming your upbringing for your mistakes, the role of an absent father should never be downplayed. In a young girl’s life, in particular, your father is your first love. He’s the person that teaches you how any man in your life should treat you and the one whom you look to for guidance, attention and protection. Your father is the one who helps to teach you what love is so that you won’t go looking for it in all the wrong places.
On the other hand, I have heard firsthand many very grown women (over age 30) make statements like, “I only deal with a certain type of man that’s bad for me, but it’s because I didn’t grow up with a father.” “I understand why she’s a stripper, if she didn’t have a father, it makes sense.” “He cheats on me, treats me bad and I still stay, and I know the issue is because I didn’t grow up with a father.”
There are countless statements like this made by women (and men) all over the world daily. Some live their entire lives and blame nearly every costly mistake they’ve ever made on not having a father, but as my pastor said there does come a time in life where you have to start taking responsibility for the decisions that you make.
Daddy issues are very real, yes, but for how long? I don’t know.