VIBE VIXEN: How do you think women end up in the situation of a “Single Married Woman?”
DR. SHERRY BLAKE: We end up in those situations by wanting a marriage and wanting to make others happy and trying to please so much that we lose sight of ourselves.
Why do you think women who have the power to train a man to her liking just let him walk all over her instead?
I think sometimes women allow men to walk all over them because it’s an issue of self-esteem. Some may think if they don’t do what the male asks or requests of them they won’t have them. They haven’t learned that they have a value in the relationship and they don’t have to allow someone to walk all over them and they don’t have to walk all over someone else, so it goes both ways. The reality is that it’s all about self esteem. If you don’t feel good about yourself, it’s hard to stand up for yourself. It’s really tricky, but you have to understand it works both ways.
Is Kobe and Vanessa’s situation the type that can be saved, or do you think they will just go back to each other for booty calls?
[Laughs] I haven’t worked with them, so I don’t know the ins and outs in terms of their relationship, but I think both of them must really sit down and be honest. It would be great if they were working on the issues that got them to that point with a psychologist or a group of therapists. What are those things we can work on? What are those things that we enjoy that we can enhance? And many times when people have difficulty in relationships and it become public knowledge, then the public thinks material things come in place and they are back together again. But it is more than the material things that keep you together.