An automatic red flag went off when I heard the word “we,” and as they continued to get serious, I reminded of the common sense that so many of us can sometimes lose when entering into relationships. One year later, they were engaged, and six months later they were married. Her now husband insisted they move into a big house that was far beyond their means, but since they had two incomes and she had good credit, they were able to put it in her name. He also talked her into putting two his and her luxury cars under her name to go with their new family home.
She was in bliss and had no issue with everything being in her name because she loved him. He was her husband after all. Another year went by before she admitted to me that she had married a man with no real ambition to better himself. Although he was still bringing in an income, he was settled in his job and didn’t seem to care too much about moving up. He made enough to support his habit of nice clothing and fancy trips, so why should it matter he had asked her? He still hadn’t grasped the importance of being financially responsible and hadn’t saved any real money over the few years they had been together.
As her frustration grew, so did the problems in their marriage, which led to a miserable and expensive divorce. She’s now stuck with the mortgage to the house and a luxury car payment (he’s paying for his) she never wanted.
“The lesson here is to pay attention to the red flags!” she told me after her divorce was finalized. “I was so excited to have a well dressed man, with no kids and a job keeping me warm at night that I ignored the obvious.”
In the end, remember to ask the right questions and know what you’re getting yourself into before getting serious with someone. Of course, not everyone will know everything about managing their finances correctly, but if they don’t seem to be trying then you need to run. Run far.