* In Case of Emergency: Hate to be a somber Susie, but sometimes unfortunate events occur that can put you in a very uncomfortable and vulnerable situation. God forbid you be in an accident or suddenly fall ill and have to be rushed to the emergency room, because you will not be able to avoid those dreadful butt-less teal robes. They’re simply not optional. Now I’m well aware that your panties are the very least of anyone’s concerns when you’re on the brink of coughing up an organ. But really—that sinus infection will go away. Dr. McDreamy’s vivid memory of your off-white, baggy, “time-of-the-month” bloomers? Maybe not.
* Time for Some Action: *All minors, please leave the room . . . Now. (loll)* Alright, we all grown in here? Good. Listen—things happen. Boy meets girl. Girl sees boy. Boy looks good. Girls feels tingly. Then—sha-pow! Time for some action. Okay, fine, let’s take a less shameful approach (I pinky promise I’m not a first-date “sha-pow” advocate). Girl goes out. Girl bumps into boy. Boy is long-lost love from years past. Girl invites guy over to catch up. Then—sha-pow! Damn, it happened again. o_O The moral of the story: big boys and girls do unexpected things. Many of which leave clothing scattered on the floor and undergarments very visible. Don’t get caught up wearing that one bad bra with underwire poking out the sides and draws with the lazy elastic. NOT a good look.
* Make You Feel Good: Arguably the most important and rewarding cause for wearing attractive undergarments is how they make you feel. A cute new set from Vicky’s secret has magical powers, I tell ya! You get dressed in the morning, slip them on, and automatically feel ready to conquer the world. Your shape seems to be at its best, boobs perkier than ever before, and backside just as cute as can be. There’s no doubt in your mind that you’re that girl. Single, boo’d up or married—no matter—because this is a sexy that no man can define. And throughout the day, whatever may come your way, you know that you’re giving Tyra and Heidi a run for their money—underneath it all . . .
- Chelsea Smith