Wedding Or Marriage: Which Do You Want?

Posted by on Oct 11, 2011

The media extravaganza we all knew was coming is finally here. Last night the E! network premiered part one of Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event. Notice anything funny about that title? Anything? Well if you didn’t let me point it out for you: Kris Humphries’ name is nowhere to be found. That’s right! This man that Kim Kardashian claims changed her life and vowed to love forever is not mentioned anywhere in the title at all. I thought it took two people to have a wedding, no?

The omission of Kris’ name from the show title wasn’t the only thing that struck me as odd. During the show, Kris was continuously left out of the most important aspects of the wedding planning–shut out by Kim and her momager Kris Jenner. Not only was Kris left out, but at one point even his family was forgotten about and left on the side of the road, literally. Kim’s mom “forgot” to order pricey Maybach cars to chauffer Kris’ family to the wedding ceremony. She conveniently remembered her own family, though. To be fair, E! editing could have made all of the drama seem bigger than what it really was. However, knowing what we do about the Kardashians and their empire, I don’t think E! had to edit all that much.

Another scene where the wedding trumped the marriage? When Kris Jenner, Kim and Kris are discussing performers for the wedding, Kris makes an objection and the ladies very blatantly decide to overrule him as if it’s not his wedding also. As Kris gets up to leave, obviously upset at yet another snub, Kim proceeds to tell him, “I have been planning this wedding since I was ten years old.” Kris replies, “Yea, and you can just slide any guy into it.”

Ding, ding ding!!

That moment of the show spoke volumes. Kim wasn’t preparing for a marriage; she was preparing for a wedding. Huge difference. Instead of focusing on how her and Kris were going to mesh lives, communicate, and stabilize a foundation that will last long after this one day, Kim was focused on a dream, a fairytale and herself. Leaving her future husband out of a day that is supposed to be special to both of them and taking a “my way or no way” attitude doesn’t bode well for the stability of the marriage they are entering into. Many women, and even some men, fall into this same trap and end up confusing the hoopla of a wedding with the actual reality of a marriage. They get so focused on making this childhood dream come true that they forget they aren’t children anymore and that the dreams they had about weddings as little kids, aren’t the same as the realities of marriage as adults.

Marriage is more than fancy cakes, gorgeous gowns and RSVPs. It is hard work, and it’s usually only after the party ends that most people realize exactly what they’ve gotten themselves into. There are no more seating charts and menus to keep you from facing the situation before you and when some couples realize the hard work ahead and it sinks in that planning the wedding wasn’t the hard part, they can’t cut it. While they were planning ceremony décor, they forgot to plan how they were going to mesh lives. While they were writing vows, they forgot they have to figure out how to express feelings and communicate without prepared scripts.

People get so caught up in preparing for the day that they forget to prepare for the lifetime. Taking the time to remember that the wedding is only the start of the marriage and focusing on building a solid foundation, instead of a memorable event, just might ensure that the party and the love will never end.        

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