With my Amazon stature, it only makes sense that a solid and muscular Dwight Howard-carbon copy would be vying to be my knight in shining armor because he has a comparable body type. Not quite. Instead, I constantly attract the short Terrence J and slim cut Nick Cannon look-a-likes.
Not that there’s anything wrong with a small man. But after dating man after man who is shorter and skinnier than me, I couldn’t help but wonder: why are these men attracted to women twice their size?
Is it so they can psyche out the next man by walking with a brick house-built woman in stilettos no less? I’ve seen men insult smaller men they see out and about at the mall, on the street, at parties, saying “they can’t handle” all the curves of the woman they’re walking with. And there are few people who haven’t seen the ubiquitous pictures of petite men daring to pick up voluptuous women at the club.
The question is why? In my opinion, if men attach masculinity to the size and shape of a woman they’re dating, wouldn’t it make sense that smaller men assert their masculinity by chasing after women like me? Perhaps that’s one of the many reasons behind men of color’s obsession with “thick” women with ample curves.
I believe the psychological chase stems from the playground. The reason why the skinny man chases the big girl is to prove to her, the world, and ultimately himself that he can conquer a Botticelli-esque female, which society would typically pair with a larger man. In a way, it’s an overcompensation and over-assertion of masculinity played out in the dating scene.
When I went on a date with a 5’7” featherweight, who my friends determined was in dire need of Ensure, rice and beans and a good old Southern meal, I was shocked by how fixated he was with my “jelly” rubbing my rolls like he was about to butter them.
Now before you send a barrage of comments about fitness my way, know that I’m healthy as a horse; my doctor will tell you. I am in great shape for my size and have no desire to slim down less than what my doctor considers healthy—and jeopardizing my claim to fame as a result. In the buff, I’ve caused a man’s eyes to widen in amazement, so why lose all my curves and swerves?
Do you too attract men smaller than you? Why do you think small men are attracted to thick women with curves for days?