Right Man, Wrong Time: Homewrecking In The Name Of Love

Posted by on Sep 21, 2011

Homewrecking – the act of coming between a romantic union and breaking it apart; to pursue a quixotic relationship with an individual despite your apparent knowledge of them already being spoken for.

It’s nothing that we haven’t heard of before.

Have I been a homewrecker myself? No, and nor do I plan on it. There’s just something about coming in between the love of two people for the purpose of fostering my own that just doesn’t settle well with me. But as we have seen by example from some of our favorite celebrity pairings, sometimes things just sort of seem to happen. When Gabrielle Union began publicly dating Dwyane Wade around 2009, the NBA All-Star was still amidst divorce with ex-wife, Siohvaugn Wade (who sought damages against Union for allegedly ruining their marriage and causing their children distress). Fantasia Burrino found herself wrapped up in a similar scandal not too long ago, when she began seeing a married man and was labeled a homewrecker in a million-dollar lawsuit.

Of course, a more recent (and obvious) example is the marriage between Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz, whose controversial love story began to take form back in 2007 while Swizz was still involved with then-wife Mashonda. There’s no doubt that post-marriage and post-baby (despite the latest sidepiece drama that has taken somewhat predictable fruition), Alicia seems to glow in each and every photograph that she is in standing beside hubby Swizz. To doubt the love she has for her man or to even say that it isn’t real would be a bit ill-bred and unreasonably speculative. But this also leads me to my burning question of the day:

Is homewrecking permissible in the name of love?

Suppose you do in fact meet the man with whom your connection is undeniable. Suppose he’s the one who sweeps you off your feet and shows you what it’s like to be treated like a queen. He’s the one who listens to you, always has your back, and just when you think he isn’t paying attention,  always comes through to do all of the little things that your past men never did. In essence, he is your everything. The only issue is that he’s married to another woman. Sure, maybe he and his wife were having problems and were getting ready to divorce anyway. Maybe they were already separated. But does that give you the right to make your way into their story before that current chapter was even finished?

I say no, and I say that from the perspective of an empathetic female. Putting myself in the shoes of the other woman, I have to honestly ask myself ‘How would I feel if it were my relationship being homewrecked?’ Sometimes, maybe it really is just a case of meeting the right man at the wrong time.

How do you feel, Vixens?

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