Picture it. There’s a relationship. A healthy relationship. The couple has been together for years and while they’ve had their ups and downs, it’s been nothing that would destroy what the two have worked hard to build. They don’t know each other, they understand each other and the love is amazing. One night while on a romantic vacation the couple starts talking about their love and their future while watching the waves from a sandy pink beach. One turns to the other and says that they have never been happier. Before this relationship, they weren’t sure if they would ever settle down and meet “The One”, but then the other person came along and really put life in perspective; opening up a world they never knew existed. Then it happens. They stare into each other’s eyes, hold hands and then out of nowhere she gets down on one knee, pulls out a box and asks her man to marry her.
Yes. I said SHE asked him to marry HER.
A few years ago I read a story in the New York Daily News about the growing trend of men getting “Man-gagement” rings to match their fiancé’s engagement ring. While the women in the article weren’t proposing to their men and were instead just getting them the rings so women know they are off the market, it got me to thinking about whether or not I could actually propose to a man.
Most days when I look at my life I would like to think that I am a modern woman. I’m not locked down by stereotypes and traditions of old about what a woman is or what her place in the world should be. My life isn’t defined by my husband’s last name and the productivity of my uterus. Yes, I cook and clean, but after my nine to five, I have every intention on returning to work after I push out some rugrats, I speak my mind, drink out of the bottle and even burp in public. I’m me and even though I try everyday to live my life like the God-fearing young woman my family raised me to be, I also understand that they were of a different time so I heed their lessons and live my life as a modern rebel woman with her own cause. However on the flipside I find comfort in certain things about being a traditional woman and there are some things from the old school that must stand….the man proposing to me is one of them.
I’m not a girly girl. I don’t have my wedding planned out in my head and up until the moment I get a ring, I most likely will never even begin to think about it. But what I do know is that the man that loves me has to prove it by proposing. Actually he can’t just propose, he must go the truly traditional route and go to my father, in person, and ask for his blessing and my hand in marriage. He must take the years of memories that we’ve created and all the understanding he has of my madness and use it to buy a ring that defines me, then along with that ring create a proposal moment that defines us and our future. I want the traditional fairy tale of a prince on bended knee proposing to his princess.
I know, I know, I’m too old for fairy tales; they’re not real and things aren’t always so perfect in the real world. Besides, if a woman loves a man, why can’t she propose? Why can’t she take her future and her destiny into her own hands? I’ve thought about all of that and I won’t knock any woman who wants to propose to her man…I just can’t do it. I’m enough of a modern woman to know that as real and imperfect as life is, some things, like fairytales, are timeless for a reason. They’re timeless because a small piece of them are based on tradition, based on real life. And even though in the real world there are no dragons to slay or pumpkin carriages, there are princes, searching for their princesses, who want to save the day by getting on bended knee and putting a ring on it.
Ladies would you propose to your man? Fellas if your woman proposed would you accept or would it make you feel like less of a man?