Think back for a moment to your freshman year of college. Do you remember your favorite professor or the cute boy you cuddled with every now and again? You probably remember both, but, if you think back to freshman year, what was your exact goal?
Trading in our summer dresses for our dark wash jeans and the latest edition of VIBE for the biology textbook, we head to the first day of class with the excitement and mindset to learn. However, as soon as the weekend arrives, wild activities are in full swing and you have the option to hook-up with the cute boy from the down the hall. But, before you say, “Yes,” consider this: Are you prepared to handle the terms of agreement?
Young women don’t understand and see the potential of relationships being toxic to the rest of their academic and social life. Misunderstanding the terms of agreement leads to heartbreak and distraction from what’s important. Exploration and curiosity are part of our development into young women but should be suppressed in favor of academic endeavors. We’re quick to forget our plans we made this summer to make it to onto the dean’s lists for a quick weekend fling which you secretly hope will turn into a relationship. As bossy as you may believe you are with men, you can’t help but get emotionally attached. Women will always have an emotional attachment to sexual actions no matter what. Emotions allow us to feel, experience and relate, which is an enduring quality in us. Nonetheless, it can also be detrimental to our relations with the opposite sex. A hook-up or a one-night stand doesn’t mean there’s going to be more in the future. The definitions of those on Urban Dictionary are pretty clear. If you’re quick to open your legs to a man, the self respect is immediately gone; he’s prepared to move on to the next.
Yet, we still go to school pursuing these men hoping to gain something more out of them. So if you must have a boo, be aware of what you’re getting yourself into. Make the terms of agreement between you two clear, concise and don’t renege. If you do, you risk allowing your life to become a never-ending Mary J. Blige (circa 1995) song. To prevent crossing the line during the weekend’s activities, find solace in your friends.
Note: College is not a Suzy Homemaker factory; there’s power in your degree. You’ve worked hard to get to your school, no matter if you received a scholarship or took our ten loans. Even, if the option of a relationship is on the table, don’t take it. You are there to learn, grow and have positive experiences. Join school clubs, participate in your dorm’s pizza night, do a movie night with your friends or get a part-time job. As you mature with wisdom and experience, relationships will come easy.