An old adage advises us to say what you mean and mean what you say at all times. No disrespect to the wise one who said it, but I’m positive this person didn’t live on planet Woman. And, frankly, in our little world, that rule just doesn’t apply to “Womanspeak”–the thing words and/or phrases women say in place of what they really mean.
Truthfully, men and women assert what they want to convey in different ways, so we Venus-ruled humans say things that are quite often misinterpreted or misunderstood. However childish you assume these snippets of banter to be, the little white lies are necessary for the dynamic between man and woman. You see, to protect her male cohorts from a hellish fury or to shade a few loser suitors, a Vixen must choose her words carefully. It’s often times sarcasm, a snarky rebuttal, playful discourse or simply words from a woman scorned, but either way, women speak a language that can often leave men wondering, “What the heck did she mean by that?”
Honestly, there are words of true meaning surrounding these little statements. Context clues (what you should have learned in your wonderful primary school English classes) within her lengthy conversations are dead giveaways to what she’s truly saying to you because, indeed, their is a meaningful message. Don’t be alarmed; there are a few women who are 100% forthcoming with blunt honesty, so they’re a little bit easier to read (when you find these treasured gems, let us know). But for the lot of us, we just want attention, and we use indirect meanings to get just that… or deflect unwanted attention. Is this manipulation? Of course not. Just call it our own vocal coding system.
Men have theirs; women have ours.
So, we’re going to play nicely, fellas. Here are eight things women say and what they really mean:
“Have fun tonight…” (Usually said in the most sarcastic voice she can drum up) –Do not have fun. In fact, have the least amount of fun possible. More than likely, she wants to hang out with you or is fearful that you’ll do something irresponsible while out with “the fellas.”
“You know… I’m just really busy…” (Usually repeated and used with words like “schedule” and “I don’t know”) –Nine times out of ten, she’s just too busy for you. Just catch a clue, and move along, dude. She’s just not that into you. Remember: The emotional creatures that they are, women will make the time if they like you.
“I’m not looking for anything serious, just a good time…” (Usually used when trying to keep deep feelings at bay) –She’s really looking for more than a good time. Way more. She’s most definitely down, but if hanging out and making time for you become consistent after few weeks, she’s totally into you beyond picnic lunches and dinner dates. Discuss exclusivity and quickly. Oh yeah… and prepare for “We need to talk.”
“Don’t worry about it…”—Be more worried than you’ve ever been in your life because she’s seething… and plotting her revenge. Tread lightly.
“I’m done…” (Usually said in the midst of an argument) –She’s not really done; she’s just trying to regain control of the situation and of her feelings. Be patient. She’ll call back.
“He’s like my brother…” (Usually said in reference to a male friend you aren’t yet familiar with) –There may have been some chemistry between her and this man before and she’s just not mentioning it to you. Or it could very well be a he-likes-me-but-I-don’t-like-him-like-that situation. He probably really is like a brother to her now, but prior to this conversation…? No. Harmless? Sure. We all have skeletons.
“Fine.” (Usually said in an abrupt manner at the end of an argument)—She’s pissed, and it’s best to leave her be. Just stop talking because nothing is fine at all.
“She’s really cute…” (Usually said in reference to a girl who is actually pretty)—Said girl might be a co-worker of yours or a friend, and she probably is cute, but this is a trap, fellas! She’s gauging what you think of this girl and if she’s going to pose a threat to the relationship. Sir, I suggest you downplay it. Go with: “Yeah, she’s cool.”
And there it is. I mean, we can’t give away all our secrets, so just accept the ones we gave you and read between the lines. But seriously, the bottom line is to listen. All women want positive and caring attention from their guy or to dead the attention from persistent losers, so adopt the habit of carefully decoding each word and phrase. There’s meaning in every words that she says. -Niki McGloster (@missjournalism)